The underlying process to waking up is to remove anything and everything that is in the way or interferes with it, remembering that the true and natural human state is this place. The rest is a trick, a lie, an illusion, a trap, a prison, etc.

We need to remember who we are. We are Divine and our natural state of being is wholeness, perfection, health, prosperity, peace, joy, love, connectedness, oneness, etc.

We move back and forth between remembering and forgetting, between expansion and contraction, between love and fear. The path is about spending less time in the place of forgetting, contracting and fear and more time in the place of remembering, expansion and love.

Why is this so difficult to grasp or to put into words? Why is it so difficult to experience at will? It is what we all know exists, what we search for and long for, but often miss. When we do find it for whatever brief period, we rejoice; when it’s gone, we feel devastated. This is why people use drugs and alcohol–they are looking for this sensation or place of being in the flow…this place of joy and bliss and connectedness. Drugs and alcohol simulate it, but it’s not nearly as good as the real thing, and when you come down from a drug high you are even further away from the real thing–a viscous circle with the only escape being one or more of the above paths at work in your life.

The place is the place where miracles and healing and manifestation happen. It is the space in between everything. This is what Christ meant when he said the Truth will set you free…it is this place…this high energy, almost manic blissful place where life seems magical and wondrous that he was speaking about. To be human and remember your Divinity is about as good as it gets…it’s like being in love with Life.

When someone is in this place it affects everyone around him/her. They can feel the energy because that person has tapped directly into Source and has become a clear channel for that energy and it is electric and intoxicating.

To access this Source requires nothing more than clearing the channel and removing whatever is in the way physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically, etc.

This will allow us to access this Source more at will rather than at random.

Sometimes it seems so random. I’ve worked hard for years with all the techniques, but lately it just seems to happen without anything specific preceding it, as if I’m just finding the location and then the channel opens up.

Maybe my son was right and there are two “earths” and one is underneath the other one. One is REAL and the other one is a lie, a simulation or game. There are doors and escape hatches from the matrix earth into the real one, and perhaps we slip into it when we dream or meditate or take hallucinogenic drugs or sometimes just randomly have a peak experience. But then we always come back into the matrix–the limited earth, the painful earth, the challenging earth. Finding the doors are the key to a better life. Death is one door, but there are many, many other doors, and within this false earth there are clues everywhere about how to access the REAL one. It’s tricky and requires lots of work and removal of the false persona that we’ve been led to believe is real. When we remember who we are, we automatically have access to the REAL earth. But remembering ain’t easy; luckily there are lots of catalysts around that can trigger a memory.

Photo by Julian Fann

Training the ego is like training a dog—no one wants to be around a poorly behaved dog. It’s not the dog’s fault he barks too much, bites people, chases cars, soils the carpet, etc., he just needs to be trained. Our egos also need to be trained, to be put in their place, not to run rampant and out of control wreaking havoc wherever they go

An untrained mind is that is out of control is our responsibility. We live on a planet surrounded by millions of similar untrained, out of control minds; because of this, things are a mess and bordering on total destruction. Bad decisions, addictions, consumerism, waste, conflicts in relationships, boredom in work, etc., are all ego-based. Imagine a world in which we took the ego out of the equation!

In a battle with two egos, there is no way to win. It’s reduced to trying to prove who’s right and who’s wrong, and that end, once achieved, is a hollow victory. It creates a winner and a loser, but neither benefit from the outcome. Real connection and communion can only occur when both parties are open and present and egos are in check. Keeping the ego in check in a relationship isn’t easy—there are so many opportunities to be offended, misinterpreted, confused, and so forth, mainly because we are entering into this connection with pre-conceived ideas rather than coming to it fresh and open. We base our relationships on the past and the future bringing with us assumptions, expectations, stories, judgments, and concepts— in other words, lots of baggage that we automatically project onto that person. This essentially renders the relationships both mute and blind, because instead of really hearing and seeing other people, we are actually having a conversation with our concept of them—they might as well not even be there.

One way to change this is to begin to break habitual patterns in our lives. But, as most of us can attest, that’s easier said than done. The subterranean levels of the psyche—the deep and murky shadowland of the unconscious, the really ugly dirty stuff of the core wound survival stuff—is not an easy terrain in which to move or breathe. That’s why we need to tread carefully. We cannot actively attack the ego—that only makes it stronger. Instead, we have to take our attention away from it and essentially refuse to feed it; through neglect, its power will weaken and eventually fade away. Again not simple, and that’s where the need for training and undoing old bad habits comes in. Many seek a teacher for this, a shaman, a guru, a sage or monk. But let me warn you…this is a slippery slope filled with teachers whose biggest problems are their egos. And there are no short-cuts. Just like learning anything else and doing it well it takes daily, and in the case of the ego, sometimes, hourly or even moment by moment practice. As a wise person told me not so long ago, we have millions of thoughts per day, so don’t expect to get control of them overnight. However, just knowing they need to be controlled is half the battle. The other half is a lot of blood, sweat and tears…lots of trial and error…two steps forward and ten back…that kind of thing.

Are you up for it? Unless, you’ve been dragged along the pavement of life and are tired of being scraped up, probably not. This type of practice isn’t for the light-hearted or the lazy. It’s for those who want to finally once and for all turn down that incessant meaningless chatter, and find out what lies behind all this insanity and senseless suffering. It’s for those know there’s more and are willing to do whatever it takes to access it.

Yes, things have to get pretty bad, to the point where we decide that enough is enough, and we won’t tolerate the suffering the ego generates anymore

With that said, there are also innumerable ways that people have stumbled upon this egoless place…quite by accident. One woman whose story is circulating like mad around the internet got there when she suffered a stroke to the left hemisphere of her brain. Others simply have a sudden awakening with no rhyme or reason.

Perhaps you’re one of those. For the rest of us, we can begin freeing ourselves from the tyranny of an untrained mind today. Some wise teachers suggest starting with the question, “Who Am I?” and see what opens up from there.

Think about it…if you’re not your personal history, your stories, your concepts and beliefs, your daily roles in life, then WHO ARE YOU?

I read somewhere recently that the “ordinary world is a delusion with no sense of purpose”. Notice the word ordinary here, an intentional descriptive device clearly meant to distinguish it from, I suppose, the non-ordinary world. It is this distinction that is what is most interesting to me. This idea of the world we see on a day to day basis—the ordinary world—as not being real can be found at the heart of many spiritual teachings; it’s not something you stumble upon with surface religious teachings, but rather lies deeper within the mystical knowledge. Shamans in indigenous cultures also know that the world of the five senses, the world I affectionately called the 3-D world, is not all there is. But ironically, we treat it as if it is all there is, putting most of our attention there and making most of our decisions based on that assumption.

Given the prevalence of paranormal experiences–UFO sightings, encounters with ghosts and other unexplained phenomena, out of body and near death experiences, and so forth—I think that we might begin to challenge that assumption a little more.

Of course, some of us do. I’ve spent most of my life doing that. But I wonder what would happen if the majority of people focused their attention for long periods of time everyday on what lay beyond the five senses?

I suspect something extraordinary would happen. This “illusion” or distorted view of things we’re seeing would shift and we would begin to awaken to an expanded perception and viewpoint.

Those who have already done this, either consciously or by accident (such as in a near death experience), usually return from it with a much different way of seeing. As we know, once your perception shifts at that level, you can never return to your old way of seeing. All of your choices are influenced by that shift.

So we could say that waking up is not about changing or even transcending anything, it’s about seeing what is for the first time. It is always there, but in order to see it, we have to learn how to remove the blinders or the distorted lens.

It is truly waking up from the dream. But instead of unplugging from the matrix, you simply are able to see it without the usual limitations. Instead of feeling, as I quoted in that first sentence, as though life has no sense of purpose, its perfection and purpose are revealed.

If your worst nightmare is a world of pain, poverty, illness, injustice and suffering and one day you were able to wake up and realize that it had only been a dream, and that the REAL world was a world of peace, prosperity, health, justice and joy, how would you feel? What if the only difference between whether you experienced the nightmare or REAL world was what you chose to see at any given moment? What if you found out that human beings were not limited at all by their humanness, but in fact, were completely limitless due to their divinity? What if you recognized that you’d been duped all along into believing that human beings were powerless and sinful and limited–nothing more than thinking, self-aware animals? What would you do if you knew that the truth was that human beings are powerful, whole and completely free?

What then? Would you be angry? Shocked? Would you tell others?

If you are skeptical and doubt what I say, don’t take my word for it, test it out through your own experience and by observing others. Start looking for evidence of our divine nature and start tuning out our limitations. Every time you are bombarded with the negativity of the perceptions of the 3-D world, look for evidence to the contrary, look for things that cannot be explained by the five senses…coincidences, synchronicities, telepathy, spontaneous healing, etc. Expect to be surprised. Demand to see the truth. Refuse to buy into the lies that tell us this “ordinary” world all there is.

You know better.

The physical world we live in is thick, heavy and dense. We are weighed down by bodies that are weighed down by gravity, and surrounded by physical objects. The density and weight of the three dimensional world we live in is a blessing and a curse. A whole spectrum of experience exists that allows us to engage our senses and partake of sensations that range from great pleasure to severe pain. When the pain outweighs the pleasure, as it is does far more often than we’d like, the overwhelming urge is to escape. This leads us to take any measure we can to change the way we feel: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, television, spending money—ANYTHING that alters our mood, and allows us to transcend the moment or situation we’re in.

We all long for transcendence, though some of us more than others. We want a break from the density of this world. We want to feel light and free and at peace. In fact, many of us seek this out to the exclusion of all else, as if we’re looking for the exit out or the escape hatch, so convinced we are that we are trapped and there is someplace better.

The problem is that we are spinning our wheels. This plane of existence–the schoolhouse we call earth–doesn’t appear to be designed for extended vacations. If it were, then all those hardy attempts at long-term escape wouldn’t have such an exorbitant price tag and always end up backfiring. After three decades of studying this topic relentlessly, my best guess is that the whole point of being here at all is about learning and growth, with some of the best ingredients for human evolution being struggle and pain. If everything was easy and all the edges were smooth and soft and pain-free, we wouldn’t learn very much. Instead, we would atrophy into soft blobs of clay, malleable, but not much use for anything.

Still people want out or at least want relief from the struggle. They treat life like an evening at the movies. They invest the time to select a movie, get themselves to the theater, stand in line, pay for the tickets, buy their snacks, find their seats, watch the previews, and then after watching the movie for awhile, decide they don’t like the movie and get up and leave the theater.

Oh, were it only that easy. Life is designed with such a heavy coating of amnesia so that we don’t even remember agreeing to any of this in the first place. It is as if were born in the theater itself, and want to find out what lay outside its dim lighting and soundproof rooms. We’ve suspended our disbelief to such an extent, at times we are so immersed in the idea that life begins and ends inside that movie theater, that escape seems the only viable solution to what seems such a small and limited existence.

Perhaps though, none of this would even be possible unless we forgot most of what we know about life prior to and beyond this one. Perhaps that’s the whole point: forgetting so that we can engage fully in this mysterious mirage we call life. Regardless, the joke is on us if we spend the entire time we’re here trying to escape or transcend it. Again, using the movie theater metaphor, if we spend the entire time looking for the exit, we will miss the movie.

The desire to transcend is a paradox and it is also ironic. The paradox is that two things are true at the same time: we want to be here and we don’t. It is this tension that can make us nuts. The irony is that attempting to transcend the density of the 3-D may defeat the whole purpose of being here. This is especially true if we chose to be here in the first place, but somehow forgot about it. In that case, who could blame us for being curious or even furious that we don’t know what’s going on or what we’re doing here. Knock someone out and drop them off at a location where they’ve never been with no instructions or map, and chances are they’re going to be a little upset.

I have loads of compassion for those who want out of this place. I have often felt that way myself. But instead, I busy myself with my quest to figure things out. Like Truman in the Truman Show, I’m determined the find the truth, not by finding the door out, but by somehow penetrating through the lies deeply enough so that I stumble upon something that hints at some answers. The irony in that is that the layers of illusion probably never end, but only shift to accommodate the search.

In the meantime, little by little, I’m learning to enjoy the show, laughing at myself and my folly, and realizing that not knowing is what keeps things interesting.

That may be my favorite paradox of all.

Is it possible for you to lose your life but still be walking, talking, breathing, thinking, moving?

Have you ever considered the possibility that during the course of your life that you’ve given bits and pieces of yourself away?

Do you hold all the power in your life? Are you fully seated there, embracing and embodying it without reservation? Or are you holding back?

Do you feel whole and full or do you feel fragmented and scattered?

These are big questions and their significance came to me when a friend of mine boldly exclaimed in the middle of a late night conversation: “I’m taking my life back.” Something in this statement resonated and got me thinking, what would it mean to reclaim our lives and how did we lose it in the first place? How exactly does one give one’s power away?

After sitting with these ideas for several days, the answers starting fluttering in, forming a vivid picture. I saw scenes from my life and the lives of people I knew, engaged in numerous encounters throughout our lives—addictive or co-dependent relationships, authoritarian work situations, time spent with energy vampires, being dishonest with ourselves and others—all causing us to fragment: a piece dropped here, another piece given away there, a big chunk taken from us there. From the smallest incident to the largest trauma, we chip away at ourselves, until we are so unbalanced that we’re moving through life out of touch with ourselves and out of sync with the world.

Anytime you betray yourself by giving or doing something you don’t want to, but do it anyway, anytime you lie to yourself in order to please someone else, and anytime you are willing to put yourself in harm’s way on someone’s behalf, you are losing pieces of yourself.

Before I get any further down this road, let me pause here for a moment. Of course, I am not speaking literally here. Our natural state of being is wholeness. Our natural state of relationship with others is oneness. Beyond that, there is no need to speak. However, since we perceive and experience duality and separateness, the experience of soul fragmentation and loss can feel quite real. The purpose of even speaking about it in this way is that framing something in a particular vein can actually activate a major shift in both perception and experience regardless of whether or not it what we’re speaking about is real. What matters is, does it work to promote a state of well-being? If so, then use it.

Soul retrieval has been practiced by shamans for centuries, so there’s obviously something to the idea of gathering up the pieces of your life and reclaiming them.

Take a brief scan of your life. In what areas of your life are you currently giving your power away ? In small ways? In big ways? Then look at the past and look for incidents, events and relationships in which you felt that you lost or gave away some of your power.

Consider your “power” to be your voice or your say in a situation or relationship. Consider how many times you censor or mute that voice or betray your own needs. What do you think this does over time to your state of being? The image that comes to mind is one of erosion. I see a person’s life force being worn down by this type of compromise.

I’m not advocating blatant self-absorption or narcissism here. It can be a beautiful expression of love to give of ourselves to others. No, I’m speaking about the habitual tendency to deny the self and therefore deprive the soul of regular life sustaining nourishment. This is what, over time, leads to depression, illness, and feeling generally put upon by life.

What I’m suggesting here is stopping this pattern of leaking your precious life force all over the place. Go ahead and take your life back piece by ever-loving piece. Find out where you left those precious pieces and grab them up. I think you might be a bit surprised how empowering this little exercise is. You begin to get reacquainted with long forgotten strengths, interests, ideas, dreams, likes and dislikes, quirks, talents, preferences, etc. What does that feel like? I can only describe it in this way: you begin to feel like you again. Besides feeling kind of homey and cozy and familiar and all that, it is also just such an incredible relief. It’s like coming home.

I took a walk with a friend the other day. It was an overcast windy day, typical of fall in the northwest, with hints of sunlight scattered amidst the fallen leaves. We were sharing the details of some personal issues with each other when she turned to me and said, “For the longest time, it’s felt as though the universe were conspiring against me.”

Wow, I thought, she’s describing my feelings exactly. I imagine most people feel that way when life seems particularly challenging. But as accurate as it sounded, what did it really mean?

How could the universe as a whole conspire against anyone? If it could conspire against someone, could it also conspire for someone?

When things are going well, we tend to think we’re being rewarded or have hit a lucky streak or grace period in which we’re in the flow. However, when things are going badly, we assume that we’re being punished or that we’re unlucky or having a bad day. What’s behind this way of thinking? Do we actually believe that the universe is capable of taking sides? Or is something deeper at work?

Perhaps, we’re actually onto something when we think this way. We are living beings who interact with our environment all the time. There is no way to separate ourselves from it. We are connected to everyone and everything in the world we live in. We send out signals and we receive them. Every thought, emotion, and action carries our energy with it as it is sent out. By the same token, we are constantly bumping into the thoughts, emotions, and actions of those around us…receiving them. Could it be that the universe is made up of all this output, and it is this interaction that we feel and perceive as either positive or negative? Is there something, a presence, an intelligence beyond that directing the show?

Perhaps, it’s just a way of personifying the chaos we feel at the mercy of sometimes. Blame our pain and suffering on the big, bad, old universe, because we certainly couldn’t be to blame. Shit happens, right? No one asks for suffering. Right?

Well…I don’t know about that. But I do know if you look deep enough, and I mean really deep, into the hard-to-reach corners of religion, science, literature, and the arts, they all essentially point to the same thing: we and the universe are one and the same…we are it…it is us. We are moving with it all the time, whether we recognize it or not. Sometimes, we just allow that and feel totally in sync with it. Other times, we resist and feel totally out of sync with it. It is not the universe that has shifted, but us. We create the ripple that hits us sideways and knocks us down. Sometimes the effect is delayed making it appear as though things “happen” to us out of the blue, but if we were to rewind the tape and look at ALL the thoughts and feelings we were having…we would see a connection somewhere.

Are we to blame? No, there is no blame, because most of us aren’t aware of how things work, so we interact with the world around us ignorant of our role in it. But our ignorance doesn’t get us a pass either. Our only option is to find out how things work, and make the changes within.

Sounds daunting, doesn’t it? It is, but it seems to me that if you were willing to incarnate on this crazy plane of existence, the least you could do is to read the instruction manual, so that you don’t fuck it up. Too bad it doesn’t exist. No, we have to go searching for it, and rather than finding it all in once place, we pick up pieces along the way, like finding clues on a scavenger hunt.

The whole thing feels as rigged as a Las Vegas casino. Apparently, that’s part of the game of being alive.

A hall of mirrors. A labyrinth. A maze. Waking up in the dream. Dreaming we’re awake. Because of it’s mirage-like nature, we can never be sure we’re onto the Truth. Again and again, right when we think we’ve hit the bulls-eye, we discover we’re not even close.

Maybe that’s a good thing. Would you really want to destroy the mystery anyhow? Half the fun is not knowing what will happen next.

But that doesn’t stop some of us from trying to figure it all out.

The deeper I enter into my spiritual life, the more I encounter the psychological issues that keep me in bondage. When I frame my emotions, thoughts, beliefs and experiences through the lens of my core wounds and the key relationships in my life, I allow myself to navigate into the shadow aspects of my life, without which there would be no hope for happiness or freedom.

My core wound (as is many people’s) is connected with issues of neglect, abandonment, and feelings of overall unworthiness. When I brush up against any of these issues in my day-to-day life, they inevitably trigger very old ingrained reactions. The driving force of my life and my capabilities as a communicator were all defined by my need for first, understanding and second, attention. That’s right, attention. Had I not been ignored and neglected by self-absorbed, overwhelmed parents, I would never had the need to become articulate and self-sufficient, and filled with an unquenchable thirst to understand the deeper meaning of life.

The irony at middle-age is to realize that for years, I’ve continued to attract people into my life that maintained this pattern of neglect and indifference, to further agitate my feelings of being unnoticed and unseen until it has nearly driven me mad, but it’s also pushed me to develop my communication skills even further, to build a life around those skills so that my human need to be heard was finally met.

Beneath the surface of this need for attention has always been the greater need for meaning. My passion for this has defined my life since I was fifteen and even now, at forty-six, shows no sign of waning. These two drives when partnered could have manifested into incredible opportunity for me to step into a role of leadership. Luckily for me, my need for attention is not fed by crowds and adoration and admiration. Quite the contrary. Some other force, more subtle and less defined is tempering this type of overly visible and overly public display. No, it is much more anchored in my personal relationships. There is the dilemma, but also the opening.

Getting to know yourself and your core psychological issues and how they’ve shaped your life is the foundation upon which any real spiritual growth is built. The two simply cannot be separated. They are intertwined and dependent on each other as lungs are to drawing a breath.

That’s not to say that you should get caught up in analyzing them every spare moment, but rather getting acquainted with them, observing them, seeing when you have strong feelings or thoughts or reactions to something, watching for the triggers that come up. As you get to know yourself, this won’t seem so strange or overwhelming; it will become second nature, and part of your daily experience. Over time, you will actually begin to notice that you are evolving and growing and stretching in ways you never conceived possible. The more you are willing to invite these unconscious parts of yourself to the surface to be explored, the more insights will come, and instead of feeling as though you’re living in a small world defined by your past, you will begin to experience a world that transcends all boxes; the possibilities that once seem limited will, from this perspective, seem endless.

An evolving life is an exciting life. Growth means movement and movement means growth. Something as simple as deciding to pay attention to yourself can change everything. It opens unseen doors that you never even knew existed. Your ability to comprehend even the most complex situations begins to expand. Your capacity to accomplish what before seemed to take huge amounts of effort, now seems to move into a rhythm of effortlessness. What becomes apparent is that our entire struggle has been caused by our unconsciousness, and we alone can change it.

I read something recently written by a scientist that said when this world was created only 10 percent manifested in the density of the 3-D, which means that the other 90 percent manifested in dimensions that aren’t visible or experienced with the five senses. This sounded familiar and of course, I realized it sounded identical to the theory that human beings only use 10 percent of their brains, and that the other 90 percent isn’t being accessed or used. Perhaps, that meant the unused 90 percent of the brain was created to access and use in the 90 percent of creation that we can’t see.

Imagine the possibilities and experiences and other worlds that might exist in that other 90 percent? Imagine what we could do and would do if we could access that 90 percent?

The 3-D world–the world you and I live in–that makes up this 10 percent of our experience is extremely limited. It is a shadow world, an illusion, a holographic matrix, a massive projection created by a massive agreed-upon belief. This matrix isn’t real or solid, but the appearance of it is convincing, convincing because we have amnesia about the other 90 percent.

This amnesia keeps us in bondage, makes us slaves to the unreal, accepting our fate, falsely believing this is all there is, that the 3-D is a solid, immovable, chaotic realm that we were born into, like prisoners we adapt to the rules of this realm, believing we have no choice, no power to escape or change it, that we must obey the rules of this realm, stay in the box of our beliefs about it or risk pain or certain death.

Fear is our warden, uncertainty and doubt keep us in line, so we resign ourselves to finding whatever pleasure we can within it, looking outside of ourselves for the next thing to relieve our feelings of limitation, even though these pleasures are never long-lasting and are threatened by constant change and suffering and loss.

Within each of us is a feeling that something’s not right, that there is something inherently wrong with the world we’re living in, that it doesn’t make sense, that the rules go against something deep inside of us, some memory that exists there, it makes us agitated and confused and afraid, some feel it at greater levels than others, so we begin to question everything, we seek out answers in books, workshops, meditation, techniques, gurus, but nothing works, all external answers throw us off track and leave us empty-handed, our minds spin in the confusion, some of us give up hope of ever finding an answer, some of us seek out escape through death, others escape with drugs and oblivion, others shut down and hide out in relationships or churches or work, but then there are others who are determined to find out the Truth.

The Mayan, Hopi, Navaho, Essene and Biblical prophecies for the time we’re living in all speak of a clear choice between destruction/death and creation/rebirth, we’re at the end of a very difficult cycle and what happens next on the planet and to humanity is up to the actions of those of us who choose to wake up and break through this 3-D illusion of bondage, and access the other dimensions and worlds of creation beyond the 3-D.

The problem with that idea is there are very few people on the planet who can tell you how to do that. Unfortunately, that’s the way things were set up. And only those who have done it can tell you how. Though, there are a hell of a lot of people out there who will try and convince they know the way. But don’t be fooled, they’re lying, decoys set up to throw you off the path. And some of those who really do know probably won’t want to tell you. It’s kind of dangerous telling people how to escape from prison. You tend to get killed or crucified. The people who know are hard to find because a lot of them are pretty quiet about it and often keep a low profile. It could be the homeless guy sitting in the doorway. Or the little old lady down the street. Not necessarily the mystic in the loin cloth or the multi-million dollar guru.

There is another way, and it will sound far-fetched and like a trick or some new age mumbo jumbo.

What if I told you, you already know how, but just forgot, and that all you had to do was to drop the amnesia and remember?

You probably wouldn’t believe me, and besides who the fuck am I to tell you that anyway?

Didn’t I just say that only people who had been there could tell you how to do break free?

For now, let’s just say I’ve had some pretty convincing experiences and leave it at that.

The choice is all yours, you can keep an open mind and consider that what I’m saying just might be true or you can write me off as crazy and go back to living blissfully in the 3-D (a mere 10 percent of existence) and telling yourself “this is all there is”

The choice to wake up is, always has been, and forever will be, yours.

The end is near. In our gut, we know something is wrong with the way things are. We feel it. The world is in crisis. People are suffering. The environment’s a mess. Our trust in our leaders is failing.

People everywhere are talking about the end times. When discussing the weather, one woman I know referred to it as apocalyptic.

There is no hiding from the challenges we’re facing. We live with the awareness of it and carry around with us everyday.

The problem is that few of us know what to do about it, so entrenched in the daily grind that we surrender to the complacency and passivity that is our lot in life. We don’t have time to think about the world’s problems, because our lives are literally being consumed by the details of survival.

Even on a personal level, our relationships, our families and our communities are strained to the breaking point. Not only do we not have time to self-reflect and build a foundation of relationship with the self, our relationships with others are under constant attack. Consumer society and the need for all of us to keep this great machine going, by necessity, requires us to sacrifice the very things we value most: our closest relationships.

We know this and yet, we cannot seem to escape it. Like prisoners, we try hard to accept the limitations that constrict our lives. We make the best of it. And when we can’t make the best of it, we try every available means of escape: we eat, drink, have sex, watch TV, shop, travel, anything to change the way we feel and give us temporary relief from the stress of the daily grind. And when that doesn’t work, we go to our doctor and ask for a drug to help us to cope and get through the day.

Not exactly a formula for a successful life. Pretty insane when you really look at it. Why aren’t we all in the streets protesting our captivity, screaming about the sacrifices we’re expected to make? Because, and here’s the slippery part, we don’t think anyone who can do anything about it will hear us. We don’t think anyone cares. And on one level we’re right. Why should our jailers want things to make things better for us, when we’re so good at making it better for them?

Did I just say there are people benefiting from our captivity? Absolutely. That’s exactly what I said. Think about it for a minute. This is nothing new. There have always been the lucky few who benefit from the hard work and sacrifice of the many. The only reason that this continues is that we allow it. We see it, but in truth, we’d rather not think about it. So we become passive and allow ourselves to be hypnotized by the belief that nothing can change. We give in to the agreed-upon mass amnesia that surrounds us and is reinforced everywhere we go, because we don’t want to cause trouble, we don’t want to attract attention, we don’t want to be perceived as abnormal or crazy. So we shut up and put up with the way it is, even though deep down inside we know something’s terribly wrong.

Well, I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be this way. The only way that we can agree to being miserable is because we’ve forgotten something very important: we’ve forgotten who we are. The only reason this game of limitations can be perpetuated by those who are benefiting from it is if we agree to play it. And the only reason we agreed to such conditions is because we believed we didn’t have a choice. That is precisely what those in power are banking on.

But we do have a choice. Because we have the key to the prison door. We’ve always had the key, but we forgot where we put it.

Think of it this way. We were born as human beings. We were given this incredible instrument to play that has capabilities beyond our wildest dreams. We’ve been told we were made in the image of our creator, which essentially means that within us, we each have the same capabilities as that which created us. The problem is that even though we have this instrument, we weren’t given any instructions, so we don’t know how to play it. Our parents and our teachers teach us many things, but for the most part, the full range of the instrument is left un-utilized. Being mostly self-taught, we only know how to use a small percentage of the instrument (for most of us it is only around 10%). This keeps our range of experiences in life extremely limited. Our beliefs are limited so we develop limited habits of thinking and behaving. Our focus is mostly on the world outside of us, and because of that, we are heavily influenced by the thoughts and beliefs and actions of others.

This is a trick. This is how the odds of the game got so highly stacked against us and our freedom. The only way out of this endless loop, this nightmare, is to learn how to play the instrument we were given, to learn its capabilities.

Now here’s the tricky part. Where are we going to learn this? Who are we going to trust? Well, truth be told, there are a lot of smoke and mirrors out there, decoys and distractions and disinformation to throw you off the track. Why? Because as I said earlier, if you learned how to play your instrument, if you learned who you are, you would be free, you would be able to do those amazing, mind-blowing things called miracles, and you would be never see yourself as limited again. Essentially, if you knew how to utilize the other 90% of your capacity, you would become unstoppable. Your life and the lives of all human beings would change dramatically. Those in power would no longer be able to hold onto that power; and they would no longer be able to maintain the game they’re playing.

Without a doubt, it’s dangerous to talk about this. The risks are great. The infinite minefields that have been set up to keep all of us in prison are insidious and subtle and almost impossible to navigate through without help. But, given how close we are to destroying each other and the planet we live on, silence is no longer an option.

The bottom line is that we’ve been duped, duped into believing that bondage is the normal state of things and freedom an idealistic fantasy, duped into believing that things just “happen” to us, duped into believing that this is the way it is and we should simply accept it.

We’ve been told we’re sinners and weak and powerless and that salvation lies in a far-off place called Heaven. We’ve been sold a bill of goods and given a set of rules that will allegedly insure this salvation.

But at some time in your life haven’t you wondered what kind of world would be set up this way? Isn’t there something so inherently flawed and wrong with this picture?

Most of us don’t question things until we’re faced with a crisis, or even more likely when we’re facing our own death. Then the questions swirl around us en masse. Some of us decide to become seekers and try and find answers to the big questions, why are we here and what does this all mean?

Even with a passion to know the Truth though, the odds are against us finding it. Why? Because the world has been designed to keep the truth hidden and elusive. Most answers only breed more questions, leading to frustration and despair. It is so much easier to stick with what we know and do what everyone else is doing. There is very little support for real solutions to the human dilemma.

Then, even if we find what we think are solid answers, they don’t help, because most of the answers get stuck in the intellect and we cannot find a way to translate them into action or real change. So we spin around in circles trying to sort through the endless information and promises of freedom, enlightenment and salvation.

The answer is much simpler and more obvious than we think it is. In fact, it’s right under our noses. It’s within the instrument we were born with. Imagine if you will, that contained inside of this instrument is the very key that will set you free, answer all the questions you’ve ever had, and give you all the capabilities to change whatever circumstances in your life that you wish, a veritable magic box that holds within it the secret of who you really are, without limitations, a box full of miracles and all that is required to open it, is a willingness to do so.

Human beings are capable of extraordinary things. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, we forgot this. It’s time to wake up to our Divine Nature and stop betraying ourselves. The self-sabotage has to end here and now.

The first step is to acknowledge that we are truly powerful. The second is to listen to ourselves above all others. The third is to trust that freedom is our birthright and cannot be denied to us.

Sounds impossible, doesn’t it? The world will keep reinforcing the lies to keep you off balance and send you down endless dead ends. It is akin to battle, but once you remember who you are, the odds are very strong in your favor.

The only way to find the Truth is to stop listening to the world around you, for at least part of every day, until the Truth gets stronger and stronger and begins to convince you that you’re on the right track. The power of the world will lessen, the images will dim and the sounds will become muted as you begin to listen to your own inner voice. Eventually, you will discover that the things others are affected by no longer affect you, and you’ll establish a foundation of meaning in the world beyond appearances. The bondage will start to come off when you realize you have a say in what manifests around you, not because you change your actions, but because your thinking is changing.

Yes, it is slow, but accessible. It takes practice and persistence and commitment to the Truth. At times, you will be tempted to regress into the world of appearances; for its pull and its promises are seductive. You will question the validity of what I’m saying again and again and again. You will doubt and curse and feel despair.

But believe me, it’s worth it. Think about it. Think about the limitations you live with everyday. It isn’t so bad you say. I can live with the way it is. Today perhaps. But what about tomorrow when something unexpected hits your life? Then what? Then I suspect that some of this may start to make sense. The Truth will be illuminated in such as way that you can never forget it. It will be there to anchor every thought and action you make.

What have you got to lose?

Highways, and specifically, the road trips taken on them, have always been considered a metaphor for change or freedom, but are they? The highway–with its wide open space all around, a painted ceiling of infinite sky, an endless carpet of empty fields, miles of mirage-distorted asphalt disappearing behind you and stretching out in front of you–is actually more like another plane of existence. It is so unbelievably big, that you can’t help becoming mesmerized by it and drifting off into some narcotic-soaked dreamland. The hours slip by while you float in your semi-conscious state, lulled by the white noise of the cars and trucks, motorcycles and RVs that hum by.

There is no escape, not even at the random rest stops, unreal park-like worlds filled with a bizarre mix of strangers moving about. Stopping and getting out of your vehicle, your body feels heavy and disoriented. Everyone around you looks groggy and zombie-like, as if abruptly awakened from a nap.

Then there are the actual exits, a repeating montage of sameness, with each designed to look familiar, so as not to remind people they’re actually somewhere they’ve never been. The reassurance comes from the chain restaurants and gas stations and motels that are carefully arranged to invite people into the dream of being in a place that looks like home. You can continue your drowsy mood here, because there is nothing jarring or foreign enough to shake you out of it. Relax, you haven’t left your comfort zone even though in reality you’re 1784 miles away from home. All the same stuff is here. You are fine. You are safe. So relax, fill up your tank, eat some food, and pay an outrageous amount of money to sleep in a bed for the night.

But, by all means, don’t think too much. Don’t look too hard through the veneer of the illusion because what you see may frighten you out of your wits, and by god then what would you do? Who would you call? Who would help you? And how would you explain that you’re afraid to be in someplace new surrounded by hundreds of strangers and too much open space? That those huge farms with the houses spread out on all that acreage makes your chest hurt just imagining living with that much isolation. You are in your own country but feel as though you’ve been dropped out of the sky into a foreign land.

No don’t think. Just drive and dream and let the hallucination work its magic on your mind. The highway is really a sedative designed to keep you believing in the predictability of life. Only on those rare occasions when something happens to break up the routine, such as engine trouble, do you get to peek inside the life going on behind the blandness of highway rest stops and exits. Even if you decide to stay for several days in one place, you will still see it through a tourist’s trance, not the reality of the people whose day to day lives are going on there. That would be more than you’d want to know because you’re on vacation and the last thing you need is to be reminded of all that drudgery and pain and human drama.

Behind all those billboards beckoning you to take a look at all the wonderful things they’re offering, are the people creating that illusion for you. Who sleep in beds and shower and watch tv in between the times they’re staging their show. Not to worry, they don’t want you to be bothered by all that. They want you to relax enough to spend your money freely, take pictures, and tell your friends they ought to stop there sometime.

Yes, highways are a metaphor, but rarely do they represent the catalyst for change or promise of freedom they once did, instead they’ve become one more monotonous monument to banality and maintaining the status quo. Road trips are great, and most of us fantasize about the mind-altering escape they offer from our daily lives. However, unless you get off the highway and drive on back roads, you will see what others want you to see, no more, no less. It is a sanitized, homogenized, view of life, refurbished to cater to the least common denominator: the masses.

A lost highway indeed.