The world we live in functions by using rules and laws and structure to control and manipulate our experience. Following a schedule and using clocks and calendars keep us bound to a consensus way of thinking and behaving that at first glance, appears to be serving us in that it makes order out of chaos. However, upon deeper examination, one soon sees this order comes at great cost: our freedom and autonomy. All these rules and laws ultimately make it nearly impossible to know how we really feel or what we really want at any given moment. Thereby the very thing that makes life feel safe and predictable, also become the greatest obstacle in self-awareness, imprisoning us in a mostly reactive daily grind.

What this comes down to is an outer directed life versus an inner directed one. To make the shift from outer directed to inner directed living requires nothing less than a monumental shaking up of one’s entire believe system — literally taking it apart piece by piece and essentially discarding almost all of it, only holding onto the basics required for engaging with others.

What is required is spiritual disobedience: a revolution of the self.

If you have any desire for freedom from the shackles of daily living dictated by the mass shared consciousness,  you will have to say no to anything and everything that is not an authentic expression of you. Anything that you do because someone else says you should has to be put aside.  I’m talking about shutting off the Greek Chorus (parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, the media) in your life, ceasing not only to listen to them but also act on what they tell you.

This is the way out.

The only place where real freedom exists is when you realign with yourself and let your heart lead. Trust ourselves? No easy task. The habits of doubt and second guessing and patterns of insecurity run deep and fast within us. We have been scrutinized and judged and micro-managed by the external world for so long, for many of us, our inner voice is an unknown.

Luckily, for some of us, self-denial seems to have an expiration date. There is only so long we can survive on a shallow scant diet of people pleasing motivations. We crave real food that will sustain us, and we can only discover what that is when we begin to listen to our own inner directed wants and needs. The more we shift to this inner directed place, the better our lives will flow. Sure, there may be fall out when we stop accommodating others. Relationships and situations may shift dramatically. But in order to really breathe again and feel at home in our own lives, we must heed our own directives.

For many people this happens in mid-life, a catalytic time when our bodies are changing as well as our circumstances. For others, it may be a car accident, a sudden illness, or the death of a loved one that opens them up to a new way of seeing the world. Regardless, the inner call for attention becomes impossible to ignore.

Disobeying the world and the people in it and heeding our own directive may feel foreign at first, especially if we built a life around avoiding confrontation and smoothing the edges over for others.  We may make messes and stumble around awkwardly until we find our rhythm. Others may not understand our radical behavior changes, as it looks like we’ve suddenly become selfish or narcissistic. We have. We’re talking revolution here. The pendulum has swung to the opposite end of the spectrum and it will come back into balance in time.

In the meantime, enjoy the new found freedom and while you’re transitioning, feel free to put up a temporary smoke screen by telling others you’re involved in a big project that is taking up a lot of your time and you’ll get back to them soon. Because for right now, the answer’s no.

Each of us lives in our own self-prescribed little boxes defined by our ideas, beliefs and boundaries.  Each decision we make is made with the assumption it will provide comfort and safety and be the best option for our well being. Some of these decisions are made by default out of habit and due to very old constructs and ways of seeing the world.

One of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself, is to step off the merry-go-round and take a look at the boxes you live in to see if they’re still serving you (or if you’re bold – if they ever have). If they are, but you’re feeling stifled and confined, why not stir things up a bit by changing your routine or the people you spend time with.

If you see that the boxes are no longer working, make some new choices that break down those walls. Start by saying yes to new ideas and new ways of being and doing things and no to things that aren’t working.

It’s rejuvenating to open windows and doors and let fresh air and energy into your life. Taking down walls is far more radical, but the result is the same: life becomes more magical when the dimension of the unpredictable and mysterious is let in. You become teachable and open to the new and unknown and ready to receive the many gifts on the other side of those walls.

When you start saying yes to the whole that life has to offer rather than restricting the flow by your need for control, your world expands and unforeseen possibilities appear out of nowhere. It is then that we realize how much we were missing living inside of our small boxes with our endless filters refracting and distorting what was right in front of us, engaging instead with only our projections.

This is the world of delusion where many people reside because they truly believe that a constructed, controlled world is better (read safer) than the real world. It is a reactive, survivalist stance that instigates this limiting viewpoint, typically based on a deeply wounding heartbreak or disillusionment. I’m not suggesting that the need for withdrawing from the world and licking one’s wounds isn’t worthwhile, when needed. Rather, it’s when this temporary retreat becomes a habitual way of living that a refuge becomes a prison. The longer one resides there, the more difficult it becomes to leave, requiring something of a catalytic event to change things.

I have experienced all different degrees of walls coming down in my own life, some imposed by people and events outside of me and others initiated by me. Either way, it ain’t always easy to move out of our comfort zones, but it is almost always for the best.

Saying yes is another way of putting down our weapons of resistance and greeting what shows up in our lives with open arms. I used to joke with people that I’d rather raise my hand and volunteer for life’s lessons and tests than wait around until I hearing a loud banging on my door telling me I’ve been drafted.  What that means is that saying yes is akin to showing the universe that you’d like to take your medicine the easy way, not by having to be forced.

I know, sometimes the most direct route can be rough, but it’s usually so much less dramatic and time consuming. Go right up to your fears and issues and meet them halfway and ask them what they need from you. If you turn your back and run, they will follow you around making your life miserable. Plus, the idea of them is far more terrifying than the reality. I’ve found when I walk right up to the things in my life I’d rather avoid, they are so much smaller and easier to deal with than I expected.  I’ve also noticed that when I’m willing to face my demons, I score some pretty nice karmic points and I become aware of how life seems to be on my side a bit more and even conspiring to help me out.

Becoming aware of the boxes we’ve created can be done in a number of ways. One of my favorites and one I’ve used with my clients, is to look at the things we say we always do or never do. Start there and that will show you all kinds of things about yourself. These are the boundaries that we’ve erected around us. Look at them and see if they make sense anymore. Watch your habitual ways of thinking and behaving. Chances are there are some areas that really need updating.

If you feel stuck, it is up to you to see how small your world is and do whatever you can to break down the walls and live a bigger, more expansive life.

Saying yes works well if you need to push through your resistance to the unknown.

Saying no works well if you need to stop people pleasing and accommodating others’ needs instead of your own.

Only you know which one will shift things in your life.

1.    What are you afraid of?
2.    What are you obsessed about?
3.    What/who are you attached to?
4.    What /who are you cut off from?
5.    What is necessary to have, do, be for you to feel happy?
6.    What must you do before you die?
7.    What limits, burdens and imprisons you?
8.    What is the biggest obstacle between you and your dreams?
9.    What is your biggest regret or failure?
10.    In what areas of your life are you living a lie?
11.    Do you feel that you are doing what you were born to do? Why? Why not?
12.    What is the greatest gift that you have to offer others?
13.    What is lacking the most in your life right now?
14.    In what area of your life are you thriving?
15.    If there was one thing you could change right now what would it be?

According to Wikipedia, the illusion of control is “the tendency for human beings to believe they can control, or at least influence, outcomes that they demonstrably have no influence over”. This belief, I think, stems directly from how much our lives seem to support that illusion. In other words, when things are going well or going our way, it “appears” as though we are in command to some degree, bending life to our will.

However, when things begin to fall apart and our circumstances abruptly change, we usually feel as though we’ve somehow lost control. We throw around words like lucky or unlucky, depending on what happens to or around us. We talk about how certain things are “meant to be” or that there are no accidents.

The bigger the change, the more it becomes clear that we have much less control than we think we do. At any moment, without notice, our lives can change dramatically. We can have an accident, be involved in a natural disaster, get sick, lose a loved one, get fired, etc. We all know this; we have all experienced this, and yet we still behave as though we have control over our lives.

According to a recent study, the illusion of control is strongest when we are in a position of power.  From an article in Science Daily, called Power and The Illusion of Control:

CEOs of Fortune 500 companies routinely overestimate their capacity to turn mergers and acquisitions into huge profits, leading to financial losses for themselves, their companies, and their stockholders. Even ordinary people seem to take on an air of invincibility after being promoted to a more powerful position. The consequences of these tendencies, especially when present in the world’s most powerful leaders, can be devastating.

In a new study, Nathanael Fast and Deborah Gruenfeld at Stanford Graduate School of Business, Niro Sivanathan at the London Business School and Adam Galinsky at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, show that power can literally “go to one’s head,” causing individuals to think they have more personal control over outcomes than they, in fact, do.

“We conducted four experiments exploring the relationship between power and illusory control – the belief that one has the ability to influence outcomes that are largely determined by chance,” said Galinksy, “In each experiment, whether the participant recalled power by an experience of holding power or it was manipulated by randomly assigning participants to Manager-Subordinate roles, it led to perceived control over outcomes that were beyond the reach of the individual. Furthermore, the notion of being able to control a ‘chance’ result led to unrealistic optimism and inflated self-esteem.”

If control is an illusion, then why do we hold onto it so tightly? My guess is that we need this illusion in order to suspend our disbelief long enough to fully engage in our lives. Without it, we’d be paralyzed with fear, looking over our shoulders wondering when something bad might happen. Our illusion of control gives us a feeling of being able to do the impossible, transcend limitations and create new opportunities. Our greatest inventions come from the belief that we can create something out of nothing. If we simply resigned ourselves to our mortality or the fragility of human life, we would never attempt to do anything.

Problems arise when this belief in our ability to control things goes too far. People with lots of power and/or lots of money often fall prey to this because their lives are buffered by the ability to manipulate or buy their way out of problems and suffering. This option is not available to people without authority or means.

What fascinates me is that those without power or money often turn to each other to solve problems. Or to the divine, in whatever way they understand that. They use inner resources rather than outer resources. Of course, not all. Some take a negative approach and manipulate others by stealing or simply escape altogether through addiction. But for the most part, those without power or means  tend to live life with a greater awareness of change and death, and therefore approach life with respect and humility.

As evidenced by our failing economy, the illusion of control at its extreme can extract a tremendous price (there are endless examples throughout history that reveal the same thing). Life is not a casino, and when it is seen as fodder for manipulation to be used for personal gain, the illusion falls down hard and fast. Life has, and always will have, the upper hand, and it has some not so subtle ways of reminding us of that.

Anything that flies high eventually has to come down. Like it or not, there’s no way to outsmart change or death. They’re inevitable. We can only pretend they’re not, but sooner or later, they’ll come knocking at our door.

Is it not better then to meet life as it is and stop the pretending? To some extent yes, as long as we learn to accept change and death without fear.  Nothing wrong with wrapping a bit of illusion around us for comfort. The trick is to not to buy into it too deeply or get too attached to things staying the same. This is where a bit of Zen acceptance and surrender comes in handy.

There is some freedom in letting go of the illusion of control. We can relax our vigilance and begin to allow it all to unfold, as we would a movie. However, life is not a spectator sport. For as long as we live, we are players on the field, engaging in the game. What we think, say and do matters, but not in the personal way we typically think of it, but rather in a big picture kind of way.

To get a glimpse of that you’ll need to speak with the director.

Yesterday, I was listening to a talk by Iyanla Vanzant and in it she spoke about something she called The Forgiveness Diet. It resonated with me deeply. She also referred to it as “70 in 7″ (seventy times seven is, of course, how many times Christ said we need to forgive).  How it works is this:

35 times in the morning
35 times in the evening
For 7 days, you make the statement,

“I forgive myself totally and unconditionally for all judgments I have held about and against (name of person here).”

If you miss one time, you have to start again. You do this until you have done it for 7 days.

Notice this is not about forgiving others, but rather forgiving ourselves for judging others. Because who does that hurt? It hurts us. Iyanla calls forgiveness soul food. This diet is to heal and soothe your soul and relieve you of the burden of all those negative thoughts you carry around with you. Consider it a detox or cleansing diet for the soul. The intention is to give ourselves a fresh start, flushing those resentments out of our systems, and opening our hearts to love.

Everyone deserves the right to be loved and accepted for who they are. Judgment closes that flow of love. But in the area of forgiveness, we need to start with ourselves. Often our judgments of others are in essence simply a projection of our judgment of ourselves. Healing ourselves, heals our relationships.

The Forgiveness Diet is similar to the 7 Day Mental Fast written about by New Thought teacher, Emmet Fox. It’s a similar plan in that you are to give up all negative thoughts for a week. My guess is that there is something powerful about committing to change a destructive habit for 7 days.

As Iyanla said, “It can’t hurt, and it’s free.”

From Ernest Holmes:

We are intelligent beings living in an intelligent universe that responds to our mental states, and insofar as we learn to control those mental states, we shall automatically control our environment. This is what is meant by the practical application of the principles of Science of Mind to the problems of everyday living. This is what is meant by demonstration.

Naturally our first thought is that we would like to demonstrate health of body, peace of mind, prosperity in our affairs, to neutralize a circumstance which is unhappy, or to attract to ourself some good which we have not been enjoying. Such a desire is natural and in every way normal, and the possibility of such demonstration already exists within the mind of every living soul. Every one of us has within ourself the power to consciously cooperate with the spiritual side of our existence in such a way that it will create for us a new body and a new environment and a greater happiness. But the greatest good which this philosophy of life brings to us is a sense of certainty, a sense of the reality of our own soul, of the continuity of our own individualized being, and the relationship of this self to the great Whole.

The greatest good that can come to us is the forming of an absolute certainty of ourself and of our relationship to the Universe, forever removing the sense of heaven as being outside ourself, the fear of hell, or any future state of uncertainty. We are each a part of the only life there is, some part of the Eternal God. We are forever reaching out, forever gaining, growing, expanding; Spirit is forever incarnating Itself in us.

Such an understanding teaches us that there can never come a time when we shall stop progressing, that age is an illusion, that limitation is a mistake, that unhappiness is ignorance. We cannot be afraid when we know the truth. The greatest good accompanying such an understanding of truth will be the elimination of fear.

This understanding will rob us of our loneliness and give us a sense of security which knows no fear, a peace without which no life can be happy, a poise which is founded on this peace, and a power which is the result of the union of peace with poise.

From Rob Brezsny:

“Ninety-six percent of the universe is stuff we’ve never seen,” cosmologist Michael Turner told Geoff Brumfiel in the March 13, 2003 issue of the journal *Nature.* To be exact, the cosmos is 23 percent dark matter and 73 percent dark energy, both of which are missing. All the stars and planets and moons and asteroids and comets and nebulas and
gas clouds together comprise the visible four percent.

So where is the other 96 percent? No one knows. It’s not only concealed from humans, it’s imperceptible to the instruments humans have devised, and its whereabouts can’t be predicted by any existing theories.

What will happen as the implications of these data filter down to the other sciences? Maybe there will be a reversal of a long-term trend documented by Nature. In 1914, the magazine found that 30 percent of the world’s top scientists believed in God. In a second survey in 1934, the number dropped to 15 percent, and by 1998 it was seven percent.

If the fact that most of reality is hidden doesn’t spur them to reconsider the possibility of a divine presence working behind the scenes, maybe it will move them to become more sympathetic to a project like ours, which has the intention of adopting the scientific approach to an exploration of the invisible.

From Jacquelyn Small:

Self-remembrance is remembering that we are both human and divine and already connected to the higher order that rules this universe. It is remembering that we are co-creators, a fragment of divine purpose that governs reality. To move into self-remembrance, most people need to go into a state of meditation or prayer. If we begin each day with remembering who we are, we enter a state of consciousness where we are prepared to take responsibility for how creative we actually are, realizing that everything that goes through our minds creates something. Obviously, if I think negatively, I see all the negative things in life and draw those things to myself. If I can enter a state of consciousness where I remember that I am a daughter of a Higher Power, and not my conditions, I can use that awareness to start out every day with a sense of purpose. Everybody has to decide what he or she wants his or her spiritual purpose to be. It can be as small as wanting to have the characteristics and qualities of a very good person, or as big as wanting to be a change agent for the world, a world server.

An enormous awakening is happening and many people are waking up to the consciousness of the mystic. Mystics are born, they are not created. People recognize themselves as mystics when they remember that all of their lives, they have known there is something more grand going on here than is obvious. Once we move into self-remembrance, or self-creative observation, we start to change our course. We focus on what we spiritually intend rather than letting life’s conditions overrule us. When you start your day with prayer, meditation or invocation, your day unfolds with intention. Otherwise the outer circumstances will create your reality: You go to the grocery store, have an argument with somebody, lose your checkbook, return home, become frustrated because you are late for an appointment, and at day’s end, you are worn out from how the day’s conditions took you over. When, upon arising, you spend ten or fifteen minutes focusing on who you are, what you are here to do and be, remembering with compassion the state of the world and how you might have a part in making it a more loving place to be, you start your day in a state of compassion and high self regard.

From Evelyn Underhill:

Most of our conflicts and difficulties come from trying to deal with the spiritual and practical aspects of our life separately instead of realizing them as parts of one whole. If our practical life is centered on our own interests, cluttered up by possessions, distracted by ambitions, passions, want—and worries, beset by a sense of our own rights and importance, or anxieties for our own future, or longings for our own success, we need not expect that our spiritual life will be a contrast to all this. The soul’s house is not built on such a convenient plan: there are few soundproof partitions in it. Only when the conviction—not merely the idea—that the demand of the Spirit, however inconvenient, comes first and is first, rules the whole of it, will those objectionable noises die down which have a way of penetrating into the nicely furnished little oratory, and drowning all the quieter voices by their din.

The spiritual life, then, is not a peculiar or extreme form of piety. It is, on the contrary, that full and real life for which man is made; a life that is organic and social, essentially free, yet with its own necessities and laws, just as physical life means, and depends on, constant correspondence with our physical environment, the atmosphere that surrounds and penetrates us, the energies of heat and light, whether we happen to notice it or not; so does spiritual life mean constant correspondence with our spiritual environment, whether we notice it or not. We get out of gear in either department, when this correspondence is arrested or disturbed; and if it stops altogether, we cease to live. For the most part, of course, the presence and action of the great spiritual universe surrounding us is no more noticed by us than the pressure of air on our bodies, or the action of light. Our field of attention is not wide enough for that; our spiritual senses are not sufficiently alert. Most people work so hard developing their correspondence with the visible world, that their power of corresponding with the invisible is left in a rudimentary state.

But when, for one reason or another, we begin to wake up a little bit, to lift the nose from the ground and notice that spiritual light and that spiritual atmosphere as real constituents of our human world; then, the whole situation is changed. Our horizon is widened, our experience is enormously enriched, and at the same time our responsibilities are enlarged. For now we get an entirely new idea of what human beings are for, and what they can achieve: and as a result, first our notions about life, our scale of values, begins to change, and then we do.

Light
Will someday split you open
Even if your life is now a cage,
For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,
Is hidden and sown on an ancient, fertile plain
You hold the title to.

Love will surely bust you wide open
Into an unfettered, blooming new galaxy

Even if your mind is now
A spoiled mule.

A life-giving radiance will come,
The Friend’s gratuity will come –

O look again within yourself,
For I know you were once the elegant host
To all the marvels in creation.

From a sacred crevice in your body
A bow rises each night
And shoots your soul into God.

Behold the Beautiful Drunk Singing One
From the lunar vantage point of love.

He is conducting the affairs
Of the whole universe

While throwing wild parties
In a tree house – on a limb
In your heart.

~ Hafiz

Letting go of relationships, possessions, habits, activities—anything we’ve grown attached to—is one of the most difficult, yet necessary parts of personal growth. It is akin to shedding old skin. In order to make room for the new skin or the new aspects of our lives, we must inevitably part with the old. Sometimes this means we need to say goodbye to negative relationships which are holding us back from realizing our potential. Other times it means moving to a new place in order to take advantage of new opportunities. Regardless of what it is, we are faced with severing a connection with something which is comfortable and familiar and exchanging it with something unknown. This can be a frightening experience, and one which may have pain and loss associated with it.

Sometimes we have to give up something which we know is in our own best interest to give up. However, in spite of this knowledge, we still don’t want to let go of it. We may become stubborn and resistant. We may decide to quit pursuing our dreams for awhile, deciding that success requires too much of us. That’s okay, for awhile.

Rebellion can be healthy if not taken too far. Holding onto bad habits or unhealthy, stressful situations can in some cases help us to see the cost they are exacting. We cling on, fighting change, feeling miserable, but righteous because we are in control. Over time this clinging drains us of the inspiration and positive energy we once felt at the prospect of turning our lives around, of finally taking steps to make our dreams a reality. We wonder why we lost touch with our vision.

When a cup is full, no more liquid can be poured into it. In order to add fresh liquid, the cup must be emptied first. So, too with our lives. We need to make room for new ideas, new opportunities, new ways of being. If our lives are too full of clutter, there is no room for anything new.

How will you know what to let got of? In a cluttered room it is difficult to see what is worth keeping and what must go.  Therefore, one must begin to organize and take stock of the various elements of one’s life. As you begin this process, begin to ask yourself, which of these things will help me to lead a healthy balanced life, and which of these things will hold me back? If you are looking at a work situation, observe your energy level when you are engaged in it. If you feel depleted afterwards, then take steps to replace it. If you still find some reward and some energy and satisfaction from doing it, then perhaps it is worth keeping around for a little while. Everything can be measured in terms of you overall ultimate goal. What fits and what doesn’t fit into the vision you have for a successful, fulfilling life?

Another way to decide if you want to continue participating in something is to ask yourself, if you had six months to live, would you still do it? Use death as an ally. We are all going to die and most of us don’t know when our time will be up.  Therefore, I urge you to use your time wisely. Don’t waste it or throw it away. If anything feels as though it is wasting your time, eliminate it from your life. To see the benefits, find something right now that is small, that you want to eliminate form you life, some old clothes, old books or furniture. Give them away as soon as possible. Lighten your load.  Now you have more room in your closets, on your shelves or in the rooms of your house. You can now leave the space open for awhile or replace it with something new, something which better reflects the direction your life is headed.

Remember closing old doors, is a signal to the universe that you are ready to open new ones. When you are willing to let go of old things, you become a magnet for new opportunities. How do I know this? I’ve witnessed it dozens of times in my own life and in the lives of others. The only way you will know for sure is if you try it for yourself.

Think of your life as a living experiment or think tank, and it will become suddenly wondrous to you, and exhilarating. Lessons surround us and life rewards us when we respect its ability to teach us.

A house is a metaphor for consciousness. It represents the structure of our lives. Sometimes that structure becomes unstable or the foundation becomes weak. Sometimes the roof needs to be repaired or it needs a new paint job. Sometimes we decide to renovate part of it or make it bigger.

Some of us stay in the same place for years. Others move from place to place. Each has its wisdom and its downside.

What does your house or structure say about you? What do the contents of that structure say? How attached are you to that structure? How much do you identify with it?

I see the structure of our lives as the beliefs, ideas, concepts, values and perceptions we have. Much of that structure was imparted to us by parents, family members, teachers, neighbors, the media, etc. Very little is based in original thought.

I see this structure as a bunch of sentences, statements and equations that we carry around with us wherever we go. These statements make up the filter through which we view our world, they are the foundation upon which we base our decisions, and they are our greatest source of suffering.

To see what structure you’re carrying around, you can begin by simply noticing what you think and what you say to others. Pay attention to statements that have the words “always” and “never” in them as well as statements that contain absolutes in them or assert a position around anything. These types of statements are rigid and typically hold a lot of power in their ability to influence your behavior.

There have been studies that show that we limit ourselves to thinking repeating thoughts throughout the day. Our range is rather small. You might not notice this until you start to pay attention to these thoughts. Think of them as a ticker tape running through your life all day and night. Doesn’t it make sense to find out what you actually think and believe?

Once you do, you may not like what you see and you may have the impulse to burn it down. Those underlying feelings of discontent, restlessness, agitation and depression are the current of life pulsing through your being pushing you to grow beyond these stale, outworn beliefs, most of which were adopted from other people anyway and may not even be authentic for you.

Are you more than the sum total of your history? Of  course you are. But you may never know who you really are with all that clutter and debris in the way.

So I say, by all means burn it down. Or at least open the windows, let in some light and start throwing stuff out. Literally toss it out the windows if you can. Make room for what’s real and authentic. The rest was only borrowed anyway. Let it go. Free yourself up.  Move into the future with a lighter load.

Without the past weighing you down you open yourself up to new possibilities, new choices and ways of being not available to the person you believed you were. Wipe the slate clean. Start over. Surprise people with the new you. Release the worry about what others will think, say and do. Trust your voice above all others.

Once you burn down your old house, you are then free to build a new one. Perhaps you will choose to build a less solid structure this time. Perhaps you will live in a tent or a yurt for awhile. Perhaps you will become nomadic and experience a multitude of new structures without building one of your own for awhile.

Whatever you decide, you will know that you can no longer return to what was. You can honor the past and grieve its loss, but there is no going back. Letting go of your personal history–your story–is a powerful act of rebellion. It is when you become the greatest advocate for yourself. You reclaim and retrieve what is needed and walk away from the rest. This does not mean that you cut all ties, but rather it means that you rise above those biographical, ancestral limitations and allow yourself to express yourself as you really are.

Unencumbered by the past, you are free to become a child again. You become open and receptive and teachable again. The mind and heart become energized by having new options, and being no longer restricted by our thoughts of what we can and cannot do or have or be.

This childlike state makes life feel magical and exciting. This is where we find joy. Most of us had glimpses of this simple feeling when we were children, but over time it got crushed by all the responsibilities and duties and obligations to participate in the societal machine.

We can say no to this freedom killer and yes to ourselves. We can burn down the old ways and build anew. All it takes is the desire and the courage to be free above all else. Once we have that desire, the rest will take care of itself.

Begin now by paying attention to your thoughts and words. Take nothing at face value. Question everything. Before long, you will notice your being begins to stir as if awakening from a long sleep. You will be breathing new life into an old structure. This is the invitation your being was waiting for. Now follow it where it wants to go. You will be amazed at where it takes you.

Life is a wonder and a mystery. We move through it under the strong illusion that we have some degree of control of it or at least our personal corner. On the surface at least, we don’t, and life does not hesitate to remind of this regularly.

But there is something deeper here…a paradox to be sure. There is a deep place within us that is connected to the Whole of ALL THAT IS. It is in this connection that we can tap into something deeper. This is the place where we can see the bigger picture and recognize the Divine Perfection all around us. It is the place where we can laugh at what is unfolding and not take it so seriously. This is also the place where we can get freed up of all of that drama and biographical, genetic, ancestral and societal baggage we keep dragging around with us.

As small children, we are powerfully imprinted by our early experiences, both good and bad. It is where our first impressions of love, relationships and the world are made. Depending on whether those early experiences were positive and uplifting or dark and traumatic or somewhere in between, they shape our perception and ways of navigating through the world.

If we grow up on a starvation diet devoid of much attention and affection, that becomes our normal because we don’t know what a full meal tastes like. Because it feels normal, we will tend to perpetuate that diet and attract people and circumstances into our lives that only partially feed us.

To stop carrying those early imprints with us, we need to heal and release the thoughts and beliefs about the world they created. Often they are so much a part of us, that we cannot even see them. But in spite of their invisibility, they shape and influence every decision we make.

For someone who is used to being deprived, learning to receive love and attention and affection, is a major healing event. It is a process of unwinding and unraveling all of those deeply ingrained ways of being, reacting and moving and opening the channel for a new level of aliveness.

In order to do what it believes will keep us safe, our subconscious sabotages all of our desires and needs and deep cravings to grow and change. This saboteur affects everything we do. To really heal these subterranean levels of fear, we need to connect with something greater. To reduce the imagined threat of releasing our old way of being, we need to remember who we are.

This is nothing short of dying to what was and being reborn to what is. It is where we will find real freedom. It is where we will find our authentic voice. It is where we will learn what it means to be alive.

We, perhaps for the first time, will be back in the driver’s seat of our lives, rather than feeling like some rogue part of ourselves is behind the wheel.

This is not really about control, but rather surrender and allowing and being with what is at a very high level of acceptance. Control is about the need to survive. When we begin to taste freedom, we no longer feel in danger and so no longer need to control things. We are no longer out of alignment with what is before us and what is unfolding. The feeling of being out of sync was simply all that noise from our subconscious trying to survive what it perceived to be a very confusing world.

There are many modalities that allow us to release our early scripts and beliefs. When we are ready to really let go, we will find them.

In the meantime, take a look at your circumstances and relationships. Notice any repeating themes or patterns? Feelings of powerlessness and frustration? A sense of moving ten steps forward and two back? A gnawing feeling of being victimized, but with no clue how to shake the feeling or change your circumstances?

That’s it. Keep paying attention to it. Call it forth from the shadows into the light of day. Watch what happens when a little bit of awareness creeps in. The power and intensity starts to diminish. Exposure is half the battle.

It’s as if you’ve discovered a few stowaways living inside of you…long-term house guests, and it’s time to show them the door.

For that you may need help, because these squatters aren’t usually so keen on leaving. They will do anything to convince you they are helping you and that you cannot survive without them. An objective person can help you to hold steady and not be swayed or undermined by such tactics.

Sometimes you have to sneak up on them and trick them into leaving. Whatever it takes, whatever modalities you choose, by all means stand firm. Give them a hug, thank them for serving you, but don’t forget to lock the door once they’re gone.