The underlying process to waking up is to remove anything and everything that is in the way or interferes with it, remembering that the true and natural human state is this place. The rest is a trick, a lie, an illusion, a trap, a prison, etc.

We need to remember who we are. We are Divine and our natural state of being is wholeness, perfection, health, prosperity, peace, joy, love, connectedness, oneness, etc.

We move back and forth between remembering and forgetting, between expansion and contraction, between love and fear. The path is about spending less time in the place of forgetting, contracting and fear and more time in the place of remembering, expansion and love.

Why is this so difficult to grasp or to put into words? Why is it so difficult to experience at will? It is what we all know exists, what we search for and long for, but often miss. When we do find it for whatever brief period, we rejoice; when it’s gone, we feel devastated. This is why people use drugs and alcohol–they are looking for this sensation or place of being in the flow…this place of joy and bliss and connectedness. Drugs and alcohol simulate it, but it’s not nearly as good as the real thing, and when you come down from a drug high you are even further away from the real thing–a viscous circle with the only escape being one or more of the above paths at work in your life.

The place is the place where miracles and healing and manifestation happen. It is the space in between everything. This is what Christ meant when he said the Truth will set you free…it is this place…this high energy, almost manic blissful place where life seems magical and wondrous that he was speaking about. To be human and remember your Divinity is about as good as it gets…it’s like being in love with Life.

When someone is in this place it affects everyone around him/her. They can feel the energy because that person has tapped directly into Source and has become a clear channel for that energy and it is electric and intoxicating.

To access this Source requires nothing more than clearing the channel and removing whatever is in the way physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically, etc.

This will allow us to access this Source more at will rather than at random.

Sometimes it seems so random. I’ve worked hard for years with all the techniques, but lately it just seems to happen without anything specific preceding it, as if I’m just finding the location and then the channel opens up.

Maybe my son was right and there are two “earths” and one is underneath the other one. One is REAL and the other one is a lie, a simulation or game. There are doors and escape hatches from the matrix earth into the real one, and perhaps we slip into it when we dream or meditate or take hallucinogenic drugs or sometimes just randomly have a peak experience. But then we always come back into the matrix–the limited earth, the painful earth, the challenging earth. Finding the doors are the key to a better life. Death is one door, but there are many, many other doors, and within this false earth there are clues everywhere about how to access the REAL one. It’s tricky and requires lots of work and removal of the false persona that we’ve been led to believe is real. When we remember who we are, we automatically have access to the REAL earth. But remembering ain’t easy; luckily there are lots of catalysts around that can trigger a memory.

Life is a wonder and a mystery. We move through it under the strong illusion that we have some degree of control of it or at least our personal corner. On the surface at least, we don’t, and life does not hesitate to remind of this regularly.

But there is something deeper here…a paradox to be sure. There is a deep place within us that is connected to the Whole of ALL THAT IS. It is in this connection that we can tap into something deeper. This is the place where we can see the bigger picture and recognize the Divine Perfection all around us. It is the place where we can laugh at what is unfolding and not take it so seriously. This is also the place where we can get freed up of all of that drama and biographical, genetic, ancestral and societal baggage we keep dragging around with us.

As small children, we are powerfully imprinted by our early experiences, both good and bad. It is where our first impressions of love, relationships and the world are made. Depending on whether those early experiences were positive and uplifting or dark and traumatic or somewhere in between, they shape our perception and ways of navigating through the world.

If we grow up on a starvation diet devoid of much attention and affection, that becomes our normal because we don’t know what a full meal tastes like. Because it feels normal, we will tend to perpetuate that diet and attract people and circumstances into our lives that only partially feed us.

To stop carrying those early imprints with us, we need to heal and release the thoughts and beliefs about the world they created. Often they are so much a part of us, that we cannot even see them. But in spite of their invisibility, they shape and influence every decision we make.

For someone who is used to being deprived, learning to receive love and attention and affection, is a major healing event. It is a process of unwinding and unraveling all of those deeply ingrained ways of being, reacting and moving and opening the channel for a new level of aliveness.

In order to do what it believes will keep us safe, our subconscious sabotages all of our desires and needs and deep cravings to grow and change. This saboteur affects everything we do. To really heal these subterranean levels of fear, we need to connect with something greater. To reduce the imagined threat of releasing our old way of being, we need to remember who we are.

This is nothing short of dying to what was and being reborn to what is. It is where we will find real freedom. It is where we will find our authentic voice. It is where we will learn what it means to be alive.

We, perhaps for the first time, will be back in the driver’s seat of our lives, rather than feeling like some rogue part of ourselves is behind the wheel.

This is not really about control, but rather surrender and allowing and being with what is at a very high level of acceptance. Control is about the need to survive. When we begin to taste freedom, we no longer feel in danger and so no longer need to control things. We are no longer out of alignment with what is before us and what is unfolding. The feeling of being out of sync was simply all that noise from our subconscious trying to survive what it perceived to be a very confusing world.

There are many modalities that allow us to release our early scripts and beliefs. When we are ready to really let go, we will find them.

In the meantime, take a look at your circumstances and relationships. Notice any repeating themes or patterns? Feelings of powerlessness and frustration? A sense of moving ten steps forward and two back? A gnawing feeling of being victimized, but with no clue how to shake the feeling or change your circumstances?

That’s it. Keep paying attention to it. Call it forth from the shadows into the light of day. Watch what happens when a little bit of awareness creeps in. The power and intensity starts to diminish. Exposure is half the battle.

It’s as if you’ve discovered a few stowaways living inside of you…long-term house guests, and it’s time to show them the door.

For that you may need help, because these squatters aren’t usually so keen on leaving. They will do anything to convince you they are helping you and that you cannot survive without them. An objective person can help you to hold steady and not be swayed or undermined by such tactics.

Sometimes you have to sneak up on them and trick them into leaving. Whatever it takes, whatever modalities you choose, by all means stand firm. Give them a hug, thank them for serving you, but don’t forget to lock the door once they’re gone.

Photo by Julian Fann

Now + Here = Nowhere

There is Nowhere to go…there is only Here…Now

Here Now…Now Here…No-Where…

There is No-Thing to do…only Nothing…the Void that is filled with
the illusion of Some-Things…

There is No-body to be…only Nobody…the Void that is filled with the
illusion of Some-Bodies…

From this place of Nowhere, Nothing and Nobody…from this Void…comes
the IS-NESS that is Every-Thing…Everything that IS…the IS-NESS that
is Every-where…Everywhere that IS…

No Separate-ness…No Separation…No-Thing Separate…No-Where
Separate…No-Body Separate…

What IS as IS…

This IS…That IS…There IS…

It IS…

No-Thing-ness as Some-Thing-ness…

One Thing…All Things…Every-Thing…

Being One-Thing…Being Every-thing…Being No-thing

All of IT and None of IT…

IT IS…IT IS NOT…

ONE-NESS…ALL-NESS…IS-NESS

I AM

WE ARE

THEY ARE

Now Here…

No-Where…No-Thing…No-Body…

Everywhere…Everything…Everybody…

I, You, We, Us, Them, Him, Her, It…

Words to hold us in Time and Space…Some-Thing to grab onto…

Some-Thing…Some-Body…Some-One…Some-Place…

Any-Thing…Any-Body…Any-One…Any-Place…

As long as WE ARE HERE…

NOW…

Words…

Just words…

No-Thing more…

Photo by Julian Fann

Who we are is constantly changing. We are not static, therefore, we cannot hold onto our concept of ourselves or others. To truly grow and move and flow with the river of life, we need to constantly let go of where we are and what we know. This makes us available for what is and what’s to come.

Many find fluidity threatening. It is unpredictable and unknown. Without a measured, structured controlled way of being, life becomes rich with possibility and also with danger. Anything can happen. And as Alan Watts reminded us there is real wisdom in insecurity. Nothing is certain or guaranteed and to operate as though it is, leaves us unprepared to meet what life presents us in the moment.

“How could this happen?” we ask when life takes a sudden abrupt turn in a new direction, the very question revealing deep levels of unconsciousness about the nature of existence. Life simply is unfolding as it will moment by moment, and the workings of it are so vast and complex, that try as we might, we will never be able to rein it in and direct it to do our bidding.

The shattering of illusions, such a quintessential aspect of waking up, reveals this unfathomable mystery over and over again. Like grains of sand in a clenched fist, no amount of our demanding the truth, brings it forth. Instead, it seems to be the gentle surrender and dropping of resistance that allows the fog around our vision to lift.

Thankfully, there is always more…more to see…more to know…more to experience. Thinking you have arrived is yet another illusion. So many spiritual teachers have been blinded silly by that one, as they set up their tent shows promising to show us the way. What a relief to realize that stopping is not an option. Life is about movement and growth, and for those whose main focus is escape from that usually end up getting yanked out of their stupor by some major jolt or challenge.

Fate has a way of finding our hiding places.

We all know the whispering inside of our hearts, as well as the ongoing costs we incur by ignoring it.

As I’ve said before we can take our experiences easy and smooth or hard and straight up. There are benefits to both. Often the resistance makes our experiences and the lessons we learn from them far more powerful, indelible in their impact and level of penetration, giving them a bit more staying power.

Resistance then may not be a bad choice if you don’t mind higher spheres of pain, because the tighter we hold onto our illusions, the more attached we get to them, the more wrenching and severe it can be when they blow up.

Life becomes quite shamanic at this level. We invite this kind of no-nonsense teacher when we really want to immerse ourselves fully into the deepest level of a particular lesson. We may even question our ability to survive travels into these depths, as they often leaving us feeling adrift without anchor or familiar ground beneath our feet.

But eventually, with time, we emerge from the murky darkness and find our way onto dry land. In the process, we may discover that something within us, something connected to us, something mysterious and yet familiar, was there to sustain us all along, That something also is what connects us to all that is around us, and let’s us know that we are not alone.

Once we can really see and experience that connectedness with everything, we no longer need to fight or control or manipulate the world around us. We no longer need to cling to our concepts and beliefs. We can simply let go and fall into the void and relax into the awareness that there is no death, and therefore nothing to fear.

In fact, there are no limitations at all. There is only this game of hide and seek between the truth and the illusions that distort it.

The ultimate paradox is that since there is nowhere to go but right where you are, you are exactly where you should be, illusions and all.

I’ve been speaking to friends of mine about why life seems so hard much of the time, and through a circuitous route, we ended up with a number of conclusions, none entirely satisfying. People’s theories ranged from, “none of this is real” to “your outer world is a reflection of your inner world” to “suffering and struggle are necessary” to all theories in between.

Even those of us who put lots of attention on the meaning of life seem baffled most of the time. No amount of our intricate story-weaving really even touches the mysteries of life nor answers our demands for an explanation.

I’ve always cultivated a fantasy that somewhere, sometime I would meet someone who would tap me on the shoulder and point me in the direction of the Truth. That like Dorothy and her friends in the Wizard of Oz, the man behind the curtain would be outed.

I suppose the not-knowing is what keeps life interesting and magical. The uncertainty keeps us in the game. But, and most would agree, sometimes, it is just all too much. Sometimes, I’m just tired. Moving through the density of the 3-D feels like a trudge through the mud, and once in a while — without the help of mind altering substances or the nightly out of body forays of the dreamstate — I’d like to have the sensation of flowing freely through and with it (sober AND awake).

The best I’ve come up with so far is to not resist what is. Rather, I just let myself fall into what’s happening in the moment…fully and completely, until I’m so in it, I don’t differentiate myself from it. I merge into it with a full out embrace and trust. Seated in the Is-ness, I am gifted with periods of real peace and even joy, but not what I would call freedom. Sorry, but that’s what I’m really going for. Sadly, I think that’s the one thing I cannot really have. At least not in the way I imagine it.

Being here on this plane of existence doesn’t appear to be about freedom or transcendence or nirvana. If it is, it certainly isn’t the easiest door to open. Believe me, I’ve tried, and paradoxically, it is that trying that has led to my failure. It seems as though the very act of wanting and seeking and desiring a way out of the limitations of physically existence, actually seals the door even tighter, whereas, letting go of the need for things to be different, being with all that is as it is, tends to crack it open just a hair.

In other words, if you’re here, be here. Death is your ticket out. Life has a built in exit plan. Knowing that, wouldn’t you want to hang out here and see what happens next? Besides, how do you or I know that once we die, we aren’t lining up to come right back? How do we know this isn’t one of the coolest places in existence to incarnate?

On the other hand, it could also be a prison matrix where we’ve been sent to learn some heavy-duty lessons as part of some kind of karmic debt. Or even further down that line of thinking, we could be prisoners with no real reason behind our imprisonment other than we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. In that model, those of us looking for an escape would be considered heroes.

This illusiveness and speculation is precisely the problem. Like a kaleidoscope, our experience of life shifts depending on how you look at it. Turn it one way and it looks like a cosmic dance filled with divine blessings and opportunities. Turn it another way, and it looks like a cruel, painful phenomenon filled with unnecessary hardship and suffering. Turn it again, and it falls somewhere in the middle and looks like the most ordinary thing in the world.

Maybe it’s all of those things, plus more. Perhaps we’ll never really know what this is all about. Maybe that’s a good thing.

I don’t know…personally, I don’t think I’ll ever stop looking for answers or wondering what’s around the next corner. Maybe that’s a good thing, too.

Something’s gotta give. The planet is strained to the breaking point in its ability to sustain our burgeoning human population with our ever growing waste and toxic lifestyles.

We need help. But short of an evolved extraterrestrial species arriving at the eleventh hour to bail us out of our stupidity and ignorance, we’re on our own.

To some people, plain and simple, that would mean we’re doomed. However, I would like to suggest that left to our own devices, we actually DO have the capacity to transform our current situation. The problem is that we’ve forgotten how. We’ve forgotten that in addition to being human, we also have within us something quite extraordinary, something mostly unseen and unnoticed, but something not at all limited by the boundaries of time and space.

This transcendent aspect of us is the energy or intelligence within us that created us and gives us life. Don’t you find it strange, how little attention we give to this core essence of our existence? Instead, few of us acknowledge that this even exists or that we have any access to it or would know what to do with it even if we could access it.

It’s as if life is a puzzle and we’re born into it with a bit of amnesia and confusion and only a handful of clues about our existence. As our life unfolds, we have many opportunities to remember and become clear and even to work the puzzle. Our tendency is to look outside of ourselves for answers. There are so many sources of information and teachers out there who promise to answer our questions. All ultimately lead us astray, except those who redirect our query back to their source: ourselves.

It is only then that we can begin to discover for ourselves not only the answers to our questions, but the source of the questions themselves. We begin at the end and end at the beginning. All our fruitless searches return us to where we started, with the greatest discovery of all being that there is nowhere to go and what we seek we already have.

With that said, how will that discovery save us? It will not only save us but it will relieve us finally of the burden of having to figure it all out. Because whether we know it or not, we are not in charge of the show. We are simply playing our small role. There is instead, a director or cosmic intelligence that can see the whole thing as it plays out. Our only duty is to make sure we listen to that intelligence as it gives us our cues and tells us our positions in the grand drama that is unfolding.

Photo by Julian Fann

Training the ego is like training a dog—no one wants to be around a poorly behaved dog. It’s not the dog’s fault he barks too much, bites people, chases cars, soils the carpet, etc., he just needs to be trained. Our egos also need to be trained, to be put in their place, not to run rampant and out of control wreaking havoc wherever they go

An untrained mind is that is out of control is our responsibility. We live on a planet surrounded by millions of similar untrained, out of control minds; because of this, things are a mess and bordering on total destruction. Bad decisions, addictions, consumerism, waste, conflicts in relationships, boredom in work, etc., are all ego-based. Imagine a world in which we took the ego out of the equation!

In a battle with two egos, there is no way to win. It’s reduced to trying to prove who’s right and who’s wrong, and that end, once achieved, is a hollow victory. It creates a winner and a loser, but neither benefit from the outcome. Real connection and communion can only occur when both parties are open and present and egos are in check. Keeping the ego in check in a relationship isn’t easy—there are so many opportunities to be offended, misinterpreted, confused, and so forth, mainly because we are entering into this connection with pre-conceived ideas rather than coming to it fresh and open. We base our relationships on the past and the future bringing with us assumptions, expectations, stories, judgments, and concepts— in other words, lots of baggage that we automatically project onto that person. This essentially renders the relationships both mute and blind, because instead of really hearing and seeing other people, we are actually having a conversation with our concept of them—they might as well not even be there.

One way to change this is to begin to break habitual patterns in our lives. But, as most of us can attest, that’s easier said than done. The subterranean levels of the psyche—the deep and murky shadowland of the unconscious, the really ugly dirty stuff of the core wound survival stuff—is not an easy terrain in which to move or breathe. That’s why we need to tread carefully. We cannot actively attack the ego—that only makes it stronger. Instead, we have to take our attention away from it and essentially refuse to feed it; through neglect, its power will weaken and eventually fade away. Again not simple, and that’s where the need for training and undoing old bad habits comes in. Many seek a teacher for this, a shaman, a guru, a sage or monk. But let me warn you…this is a slippery slope filled with teachers whose biggest problems are their egos. And there are no short-cuts. Just like learning anything else and doing it well it takes daily, and in the case of the ego, sometimes, hourly or even moment by moment practice. As a wise person told me not so long ago, we have millions of thoughts per day, so don’t expect to get control of them overnight. However, just knowing they need to be controlled is half the battle. The other half is a lot of blood, sweat and tears…lots of trial and error…two steps forward and ten back…that kind of thing.

Are you up for it? Unless, you’ve been dragged along the pavement of life and are tired of being scraped up, probably not. This type of practice isn’t for the light-hearted or the lazy. It’s for those who want to finally once and for all turn down that incessant meaningless chatter, and find out what lies behind all this insanity and senseless suffering. It’s for those know there’s more and are willing to do whatever it takes to access it.

Yes, things have to get pretty bad, to the point where we decide that enough is enough, and we won’t tolerate the suffering the ego generates anymore

With that said, there are also innumerable ways that people have stumbled upon this egoless place…quite by accident. One woman whose story is circulating like mad around the internet got there when she suffered a stroke to the left hemisphere of her brain. Others simply have a sudden awakening with no rhyme or reason.

Perhaps you’re one of those. For the rest of us, we can begin freeing ourselves from the tyranny of an untrained mind today. Some wise teachers suggest starting with the question, “Who Am I?” and see what opens up from there.

Think about it…if you’re not your personal history, your stories, your concepts and beliefs, your daily roles in life, then WHO ARE YOU?

Photo by Julian Fann

What is it about disappointment that eats away at the soul?

Look at the word disillusioned for a moment. You have lost or been removed from your illusions. The veils have come down. You can finally “see” what’s really there rather than what you were seeing or what you wanted to see.

This is good news, right?

It means you’re on the right track, doesn’t it?

Hmmm, then why is disillusionment accompanied by so much pain and heartbreak? Why are we so damn attached to our illusions?

Because as an idealist myself, I can say that the world, and especially the people in it look so much better through my particular set of rose colored glasses. It is those very glasses that allow me to engage in many things which would otherwise be impossible.

My illusions allow me to suspend my disbelief for a period of time in order to buy into the game of life being played out before my eyes. Denial is a handy tool when you need to keep doing something you’d rather not do or seeing something you’d rather not see.

The greatest illusion of all, and there are many, has to occur when we fall in love. That is where we are essentially blinded to such an extent that we willingly fall headlong right in the middle of it without a second thought. We are so dazzled by the display before us that we don’t question it. We think perhaps finally we’ve unlocked the secret of life and discovered where joy is kept. And by God, we don’t want anything to interfere with that. We are high from it. The world looks completely different. And like the greatest of fools we sincerely believe that this time it’s going to last, this time we are immune to life’s disappointments.

But alas, even the best and the brightest fall under love’s spell and subsequent letdown, as dramatized in the recent move, When Nietzsche Wept. Frederick Nietzsche one of our great torchbearers of truth, becomes ill over his love for a woman who does not share his feelings and curses himself for falling for for the lie. Of course, as this movie clearly points out, unrequited love is illusion at its all time worst. It is holding onto our projections and fantasies about someone, and completely missing the possibility that our love is a one way street, a fantasy with no destination. It is love without reciprocity based totally on a relationship that is in our heads (and our hearts), but that has no basis in reality. When the truth is finally exposed, the person holding onto this fool’s fantasy is left not only feeling heartbroken, but also absolutely full of self-hatred for allowing it to happen.

At its most extreme these jilted lovers become stalkers. Refusing to believe their fantasy is not true they hold on with everything they’ve got, convinced the other person will come around.

The truth hurts sometimes, our illusions soften the blow. But we cannot hide or run from the truth for eventually, it catches up with us, and the longer we avoid it, the harder we fall when we do face it.

Back to the initial question. What is it about disappointment that eats away at the soul?

Disappointment is directly connected with disillusionment. We usually become disappointed when a person or situation fails to meet our expectations. Over time this disappointment can turn us into victims and even worse martyrs, in which we become judgmental and bitter with resentment, because life isn’t the way we want it be.

This is not a place to live or even hang out much. Doing away with all illusion isn’t the answer. Too much truth all at once can be overwhelming. Nor do we want to exist in a fantasy land filled with nothing but our own stories and projections. We’ll get slammed either way.

A subtle balance is what we’re looking for here. A tightrope comes to mind, which to me means nothing more than not fixating on a formula but working fluidly with this balance in the moment in each relationship and situation we encounter. Learn when to move right into truth and when to temper it with a little illusion.

We need some illusions. But we’ve got to reduce or even eliminate our expectations. Let life surprise you a little, let go of the need to control it or manipulate it. Perhaps the truth will end up being far more interesting than what you had in mind.

The physical world we live in is thick, heavy and dense. We are weighed down by bodies that are weighed down by gravity, and surrounded by physical objects. The density and weight of the three dimensional world we live in is a blessing and a curse. A whole spectrum of experience exists that allows us to engage our senses and partake of sensations that range from great pleasure to severe pain. When the pain outweighs the pleasure, as it is does far more often than we’d like, the overwhelming urge is to escape. This leads us to take any measure we can to change the way we feel: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, television, spending money—ANYTHING that alters our mood, and allows us to transcend the moment or situation we’re in.

We all long for transcendence, though some of us more than others. We want a break from the density of this world. We want to feel light and free and at peace. In fact, many of us seek this out to the exclusion of all else, as if we’re looking for the exit out or the escape hatch, so convinced we are that we are trapped and there is someplace better.

The problem is that we are spinning our wheels. This plane of existence–the schoolhouse we call earth–doesn’t appear to be designed for extended vacations. If it were, then all those hardy attempts at long-term escape wouldn’t have such an exorbitant price tag and always end up backfiring. After three decades of studying this topic relentlessly, my best guess is that the whole point of being here at all is about learning and growth, with some of the best ingredients for human evolution being struggle and pain. If everything was easy and all the edges were smooth and soft and pain-free, we wouldn’t learn very much. Instead, we would atrophy into soft blobs of clay, malleable, but not much use for anything.

Still people want out or at least want relief from the struggle. They treat life like an evening at the movies. They invest the time to select a movie, get themselves to the theater, stand in line, pay for the tickets, buy their snacks, find their seats, watch the previews, and then after watching the movie for awhile, decide they don’t like the movie and get up and leave the theater.

Oh, were it only that easy. Life is designed with such a heavy coating of amnesia so that we don’t even remember agreeing to any of this in the first place. It is as if were born in the theater itself, and want to find out what lay outside its dim lighting and soundproof rooms. We’ve suspended our disbelief to such an extent, at times we are so immersed in the idea that life begins and ends inside that movie theater, that escape seems the only viable solution to what seems such a small and limited existence.

Perhaps though, none of this would even be possible unless we forgot most of what we know about life prior to and beyond this one. Perhaps that’s the whole point: forgetting so that we can engage fully in this mysterious mirage we call life. Regardless, the joke is on us if we spend the entire time we’re here trying to escape or transcend it. Again, using the movie theater metaphor, if we spend the entire time looking for the exit, we will miss the movie.

The desire to transcend is a paradox and it is also ironic. The paradox is that two things are true at the same time: we want to be here and we don’t. It is this tension that can make us nuts. The irony is that attempting to transcend the density of the 3-D may defeat the whole purpose of being here. This is especially true if we chose to be here in the first place, but somehow forgot about it. In that case, who could blame us for being curious or even furious that we don’t know what’s going on or what we’re doing here. Knock someone out and drop them off at a location where they’ve never been with no instructions or map, and chances are they’re going to be a little upset.

I have loads of compassion for those who want out of this place. I have often felt that way myself. But instead, I busy myself with my quest to figure things out. Like Truman in the Truman Show, I’m determined the find the truth, not by finding the door out, but by somehow penetrating through the lies deeply enough so that I stumble upon something that hints at some answers. The irony in that is that the layers of illusion probably never end, but only shift to accommodate the search.

In the meantime, little by little, I’m learning to enjoy the show, laughing at myself and my folly, and realizing that not knowing is what keeps things interesting.

That may be my favorite paradox of all.

I recently watched the first three seasons of Lost and realized that the entire show is a metaphor for life. To some degree, we’re all lost and we all behave as though we’ve survived a plane crash on a desert island. We walk around looking a bit shell-shocked and dazed most of the time, dwelling in the terrain of survival mode, but completely clueless about our ultimate fate or destiny.

We seek meaning in our micro-cosmic relationships and experiences, but don’t really know where we fit in the big picture. As with the stranded crash victims in Lost, some of us want to leave the island and some of us don’t. Some of us think there is something better somewhere else, and the rest of us would rather make the best of where we are.

There are the daily dramas and encounters in which we learn things about ourselves and what we’re capable of. The range of human experience presents us with challenges to flesh things out, such as are we more concerned for ourselves or for others, and is it better to tell the truth or to lie? We are given ample opportunities to see what we’re made of, and when we don’t like what we see at a given time, we can correct ourselves and our path, as long as we haven’t reaped any major, irreparable consequences.

But this is all food for thought. The real issue is what are we doing here in the first place? We didn’t crash here by accident. Is there really meaning and purpose to our existence or are we creating that? Is there such thing as fate and destiny? Do we each have an actual purpose?

How do we get some answers to those and other of life’s big questions?

Searching for the answers is part of what makes life interesting. However, so many “answers” in the end, become nothing more than stories we use to explain what we don’t understand. The real meat of life comes forth when you eliminate the stories and then see what’s left.

But do we ever really get to the bottom of what’s left or do we keep roaming around in the hall of mirrors substituting one set of illusions for another? Once we get unplugged from one matrix, how can we be sure we aren’t within another one?

Perhaps none of us will ever see the whole picture. Perhaps life is designed to be an infinite maze of mysteries, and therein lies the beauty of it. Perhaps the key is to simply surrender to it all, in all its enigmatic glory and just enjoy the ride.

I don’t think knowledge is what we’re ultimately after. Rather, I think it’s a feeling of place, of belonging and of being at home with ourselves and what is. This state of being is completely in our control and is a matter of our level of resistance and acceptance. It’s based on who we are, not where we are.

Life can be viewed as a movie. Each one of us is a kind of lens that sees and experiences life through our unique filter. We each have our own take on what life is about. Our stories make us who we are and add to the big picture of what is unfolding around and within us. Remembering this can help us to become less attached to wanting things to be a certain way and instead simply enjoy the show.

Being lost is nothing more than believing you are in the wrong place—the wrong relationship, the wrong job, the wrong location, the wrong body, etc. The operative word here being the word belief. Our beliefs are what nail us to the wall every time, along with our judgments, assumptions, expectations and agendas. Drop those and you won’t see something as either good or bad, right or wrong. Instead, it just is the way it is.

Certainly, if you’re feeing lost, do what you can to see if there’s a way to improve what’s happening. But if rearranging the externals in your life doesn’t give you a feeling of being more at home with yourself, then try working on your attitude. That may be the real source of your feelings of disconnection and dislocation.

And that’s a helluva lot easier than trying to get rescued from an island.