Life essentially gives us what we ask for. How do we ask? By what we put forth. Everything that leaves our circle of being…and I do mean everything—our thoughts, emotions, judgments, beliefs—comes back around in some way. We are all connected and there is no place in that field of connection to hide. If we soil the ocean of existence, there is no way to escape accountability for that.

It’s taken me a good many years and many hard life lessons to realize that life has certain rules of operation and the sooner we align with those rules, the easier our lives become. Those rules include showing up to do our part, being fully accountable for ALL of our actions and keeping our corner of existence clean. A tall order, indeed.

Spiritual maturity is not about finding easy answers to life’s problems. It is about meeting what is head on without resistance, embracing it fully with all of its confusion and chaos. It’s also about knowing that life is always a reflection of what is happening inside of us on ALL levels, both conscious and unconscious.

Many people on the spiritual path make the mistake of thinking that prayer and affirmations are enough to shifts things in their lives and the lives of their loved ones. But it takes more than that. Showing up is a big part of manifestation. In order to attract what we want into our lives, we need to demonstrate our desire and willingness to receive it through our actions. It is a way of meeting life halfway. We cannot complain that things are missing from our lives if we aren’t willing to put ourselves forth to meet these things fully. Hiding out in our habitual comfort zones, and then wondering why our lives are so full of lack, makes no sense, but that’s what most of us do. We passively wait for the good to show up for us.

To spiritually mature, we also need to put our attention on our accountability. Many of us are conscientious when it comes to our behavior in the world, but lazy when it comes to our thoughts and emotions and what comes out of our mouths. This won’t fly because everything that moves from us, touches everyone else and eventually comes back and touches us. If you knew that when you spoke a sharp word about someone, it traveled from you and pierced another, would you be so willing to let it go? If you knew that the reason you felt pain at a given time was due to that same sharp word you sent out, would you still allow yourself to be the originator of that pain?

Of course not. But most of us have not cultivated an awareness of that level of accountability yet. If we had, our conversations with others would be quite different, as would our conversations with ourselves.

Finally, how do we clean things up if we do make a mess? It’s quite simple: honesty and forgiveness. Being honest with ourselves and others, taking responsibility and then apologizing for our part in the mess cleans it up. We don’t have to beat ourselves up or even hold onto the mistake, except to receive the lesson it imparts. Rather, it is really only necessary to see it, acknowledge it, clean it up, forgive ourselves and then MOVE ON.

There is nothing to be gained by lingering in the mess. As we move through this process of cleaning things up, we will find ourselves far more forgiving and compassionate when others make a mess. This creates all kinds of space and openness around us and then there is finally room for the good stuff: love, joy, peace, etc.

The magic of life comes in when we embrace life and ourselves fully, messiness and all.

Growing up sounds terribly dull and boring, but in fact it is quite the opposite. All of that mess that we were unconsciously creating was in fact blocking all the good things we’ve been seeking. It created distractions and constant fires to put out. When we begin to take responsibility for the mess and clean it up, this allows us to clear the channel so that we can receive what has always been there. It allows us to become childlike and look at life with wonder again.

My sense is that we will also have much more access to the parts of ourselves that are mostly dormant and unused…the parts of us that are able to transcend time and space. Most of us have had glimpses of that, and the possibilities are endless and tremendously exciting.

But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Procrastination is an insidious disease. We can become stuck in the thick mud of inertia, unable to move forward for days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years. Projects lay collecting dust, abandoned and neglected, lifeless and without hope. We can see them everyday without even acknowledging them, until finally we don’t remember why we ever felt excited about those things. We become disconnected from our passion, because it’s easier; life is less complicated that way, we tell ourselves. Passion is messy and it stirs up too many feelings. I’m just fine the way I am, thank you very much.

But the truth is we’re not fine. Not at all. Because an essential part of who we are has been locked away. Our pilot light is a mere flicker of what it once was. We’re operating at a diminished capacity and don’t even realize it until something jars us awake, a song, a play, a movie, a painting, a poem or some powerful trauma occurs and helps us to regain our sight. We’ve joined the living dead and coming back to life can be quite a shock, especially when we realize what we’ve been missing, how much we’ve given up. Comfort has replaced passion. It is much easier to meet our obligations and then, once met, put our attention on relaxing and forgetting about those obligations. An unending circle of monotony lulls us into a zoned out place where we are simply existing and not living.

There’s a big gap between surviving and thriving. Many of us, once past the fear of surviving, get stuck there on a kind of plateau; tired from the exertion required to deal with the wolves at the door, we want to rest awhile and enjoy the fruits of our labors. The illusion of security, at not having to struggle to survive, makes us complacent and we resist the challenge of working toward the next level.

Survival makes you sharp; it gives you an edge and keeps you awake to opportunity. Take that away and the energy kicks down a few notches, the engine idles instead of revs, life becomes a slow burn. We try and minimize the ups and downs, by minimizing the risks, lest we upset the comfort level we’ve worked so hard to achieve.

Moving around the obstacles of distraction in order to get to the real stuff takes tremendous focus. Our minds jump around randomly landing on idea after idea, magnetically pulling us this way and that. We have to repel that magnetic pull with an energy that is even stronger. So often it is much easier to simply give in to the whims of our minds. Leading takes strength and motivation. Following only takes surrender. Surrender is a good thing, but shouldn’t be done unconsciously. Following the random thoughts our minds spit out to wherever they lead, results in a life of chaos and a deep sense of unrest.

To move to the next level creatively, we need to get in touch with our passion; we need to fall in love again with our dreams. Love will move us forward with far less effort than discipline alone. We don’t want to feel that it is all work. If we’re not enjoying the process, then we shouldn’t be doing it. Repetition, habit, commitment are necessary to build strength and momentum toward our dreams. The process is heart of it. The feeling of accomplishment is its own reward, but that will pass and we must begin the work again. The work itself has to be its own reward or there is the danger of being seduced by the trappings of success, which when you look at it, is simply another plateau of escape in which you run the risk of drifting away again.

Then there are our inner demons, whose sole job is to fill us with self-doubt and make us ask questions like, “Who am I to think I have anything worthwhile to say?” or “What difference does it make if I do this or not?” or “This is no good.” or “I don’t have time.” or “Nobody gives a shit.” There’s nothing worse than allowing these demons get the upper hand. You’ve got to shut them out and disarm them by acknowledging them and doing your stuff anyway.

Great things have been accomplished in spite of these creepy, dark parasites lurking in the shadows of our psyches. Teach them to heel and they will get out of your way. Just don’t ever let them get the upper hand or they’ll knock you out of the ring for days. Sometimes you can outsmart them by indulging them completely. If you’re having a particularly bad day, quit, give up, say you’re never writing another word, painting another stroke or playing another note. Go to bed, watch television, play computer games, but don’t do anything creative. Protest, sulk, complain. The next day, you’ll be surprised to discover that after a day of complete rebellion, you can get up with enough energy to complete a mountain of work.

The demons of self-doubt need to be dealt with just as you would children or pets. Set limitations and boundaries and keep them in their place. Denying they exist will only make them stronger. Face them and let them know that you know they want your attention, but you are busy now and have to put your attention elsewhere.

What about beautiful days, outings with friends, and other seductive attractions? How do we handle those? With discretion. We need to meet our commitment first, then we can play. Our lives should be balanced enough to accommodate a healthy mix of work and pleasure. There are always exceptions, of course. But beware of the tendency to make too many exceptions and sabotage your progress. Then, you’ll be right back where you started.

A bit of a razor’s edge, to be sure.

There was a young man who was having a difficult time with his dog. Whenever he let his dog outside, the dog ran away, chased cars, and caused trouble in his neighbors’ yards. He had a large yard, but the dog wouldn’t stay in it.

One day he decided to take his dog to a local animal trainer. He’d heard many stories about the success of this trainer who lived nearby on a small farm. When the young man drove up the driveway, he was surprised at the number of animals roaming about the place. He was even more surprised when he noticed that there was no fence around it.

The man got out of his car, leaving his dog inside. The trainer was outside and he walked over to meet him. They talked for a few minutes and the trainer then asked the man to let his dog out so he could meet him. The young man hesitated, fearing his dog would run away and cause trouble with the other animals, so he put a leash on him and brought him out.

The trainer asked the man if he would like to go for a walk with him. The man agreed and they started down the driveway. Several animals, including some goats, a couple of dogs, and a small pony walked along with them. The man looked down at his dog who was still on a leash and struggling to get free.

When they had walked for several minutes, the man turned to the trainer and asked him, “How do you do it? You have no fence around your yard, yet you have so many animals. Now we are walking and these animals stay right with you. What’s your secret?”

The trainer smiled, and after a pause, replied, “It’s a very simple idea, but one that is difficult to put into practice. It requires time, patience, and commitment, but the rewards are great. The basic principle is this: you must teach your dog that staying in your yard is the very best place to be, and it is where he’ll be happy.”

“How can I do that?” the young man asked.

“There are three basic steps. First, choose a goal. For you, that is having your dog stay in the yard. Second, make a plan. Many times a day you will work toward your goal by rewarding and praising your dog every time he stays in the yard. Third, and this is the most important, never waver from the plan. Never. Stick with it until you reach your goal and your dog chooses to stay in your yard. Follow these three steps and you’ll never again have a problem with your dog.”

“Really? That sounds so simple.” The young man reached down and patted his dog’s head.

“It is, but many people give up because they get frustrated or bored or discouraged. The key is to keep going no matter what.”

They reached the driveway again and the man started to get into his car. He took once more look at the animals roaming freely and peacefully around him. “Thank you”, he said as he reached for the trainers hand.

The trainer shook his hand and smiled. Then he said, “Good luck.” The young man watched the trainer walk away. He couldn’t wait to get home and begin.

photo by Liz Labunski

Ralph took early retirement from a long-held job in corporate America. When I first met him, he was a somewhat reserved and quiet family man who was a frequent victim of excruciatingly painful headaches. Tens years later, I saw him again. He looked reborn. Years had simply dropped from his face. His eyes sparkled and his body radiated a kind of inner joy. After catching up on the years, he told me his secret.

One day while traveling around the country in their RV, he and his wife, Pam, stopped in a gallery. Pam fell in love with an intricately sculptured copper fountain. She wanted to buy it. It was very expensive, so Ralph promised her he would make her one.

Ralph is the type of person who believes he can figure out how to do just about anything. When they returned home, he set to work immediately gathering materials and setting up a workspace in which he could make this sculpture. After several weeks had passed, he surprised Pam by presenting her with a duplicate of the fountain she’d admired in the gallery. She was genuinely amazed. But his effort didn’t stop there. Ralph wanted to make more. He realized in those few weeks that he’d found something he truly enjoyed doing. After seeing the fountain, friends and relatives flooded Ralph with orders for more. Soon, he found himself barely able to keep up with the orders, because once people saw one, the fountains practically sold themselves. The money came pouring in. Before long, his outstanding work was being displayed in several galleries.

I asked Ralph how he felt about his life as an artist, and he replied with a wide grin that he loved it. Ralph is a happy man. Practically overnight, his life had turned around. He’d become a successful artist, he was admired by family and friends, and he had found something he loved to do.

Manifestation is about focusing on what you want, not on what you don’t want, and to feel the feelings as though what you desire already exists. All you have to do is to keep seeing it as having happened and then give thanks for being able to choose/create that as a possibility for yourself.

When you ask for something you don’t have you are giving power to what you lack and it keeps manifesting as lack because that is what you’re focusing on. Instead, give thanks for already having it. Feel it. Imagine it. Act as though it were the Truth right now. This puts the focus on manifestation and makes it REAL.

As related to healing this means seeing yourself as completely healed and focusing your thoughts, feelings, beliefs on a positive outcome. See the pain/illness/disease never as having existed in the first place. This is about changing the past by seeing it, feeling it, thinking about it differently. This way the present and future outcome is transformed and completely aligned with the way you want the present and future outcome to manifest.

In the same vein, if you want to manifest abundance, you have to focus on having had abundance all along and seeing the lack has never having existed in the first place. This gives the abundance you’re seeking now a pathway created from the past to manifest now and into the future.

This whole concept may seem far-fetched and outrageous at first glance. But think about it. Life is about choices made in each moment. The choices made in the past effect the present and the choices we make now effect the future. What I’m talking about goes beyond that and involves actually breaking through the limits of time and space. This is may be a foreign and unfamiliar way to view the concept of manifestation, but it is profound precisely because empowers us to radically change our thinking. The very idea of accessing the past and actually changing it so that the outcome is different opens us up to a more fluid way of viewing new possibilities as opposed to seeing everything as static and solidified and unmovable. Think of it as rewinding the tape and re-writing the script that brought us here now and accessing the whole range of possibilities and then choosing the one the fits where we are now.

We are constantly creating/co-creating and making new choices in every moment that give us new outcomes in the present and in the future. But what we may not realize is that we can influence the present by undoing the past. By seeing the past differently and not giving the choices that appear to have limited us in the present any power, we take that power away. Even better, we can also take the power away from our present choices’ ability to limit future outcomes. We can see the present differently in terms of health, prosperity, relationships, etc., by seeing our lives as already manifesting what we desire, by holding it that way no matter what the appearances show us, by affirming that we have everything we desire right now, and by denying anything that contradicts that.

When we open ourselves up to the infinite possibilities that exist in every moment we can attract a new outcome. Our inner beliefs about ourselves and our lives are reflected by the outer. So if we believe we’re healthy and prosperous and really feel it and see it, the outer shifts to reflect that belief. If, however, we believe and feel and see ourselves as limited in any way our outer lives will reflect that.

The transformation from one way of seeing, feeling, thinking and believing something about ourselves to another can take a matter of minutes. It can leap across the boundaries of time and space and give us a different outcome instantly depending upon the level of intensity of seeing that outcome as the Truth, knowing it with certainty “no matter what” and accepting it as REAL.

This is the place of miracles and healing where we can jump from one possibility/outcome to another completely different possibility/outcome.

No matter what our current circumstances are there are always a multitude of possible outcomes that can manifest from this moment. If we don’t like one outcome, we have the freedom to choose a new outcome because they are both possibilities and both exist. It is up to us to choose which one we want to align with.