The underlying process to waking up is to remove anything and everything that is in the way or interferes with it, remembering that the true and natural human state is this place. The rest is a trick, a lie, an illusion, a trap, a prison, etc.

We need to remember who we are. We are Divine and our natural state of being is wholeness, perfection, health, prosperity, peace, joy, love, connectedness, oneness, etc.

We move back and forth between remembering and forgetting, between expansion and contraction, between love and fear. The path is about spending less time in the place of forgetting, contracting and fear and more time in the place of remembering, expansion and love.

Why is this so difficult to grasp or to put into words? Why is it so difficult to experience at will? It is what we all know exists, what we search for and long for, but often miss. When we do find it for whatever brief period, we rejoice; when it’s gone, we feel devastated. This is why people use drugs and alcohol–they are looking for this sensation or place of being in the flow…this place of joy and bliss and connectedness. Drugs and alcohol simulate it, but it’s not nearly as good as the real thing, and when you come down from a drug high you are even further away from the real thing–a viscous circle with the only escape being one or more of the above paths at work in your life.

The place is the place where miracles and healing and manifestation happen. It is the space in between everything. This is what Christ meant when he said the Truth will set you free…it is this place…this high energy, almost manic blissful place where life seems magical and wondrous that he was speaking about. To be human and remember your Divinity is about as good as it gets…it’s like being in love with Life.

When someone is in this place it affects everyone around him/her. They can feel the energy because that person has tapped directly into Source and has become a clear channel for that energy and it is electric and intoxicating.

To access this Source requires nothing more than clearing the channel and removing whatever is in the way physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically, etc.

This will allow us to access this Source more at will rather than at random.

Sometimes it seems so random. I’ve worked hard for years with all the techniques, but lately it just seems to happen without anything specific preceding it, as if I’m just finding the location and then the channel opens up.

Maybe my son was right and there are two “earths” and one is underneath the other one. One is REAL and the other one is a lie, a simulation or game. There are doors and escape hatches from the matrix earth into the real one, and perhaps we slip into it when we dream or meditate or take hallucinogenic drugs or sometimes just randomly have a peak experience. But then we always come back into the matrix–the limited earth, the painful earth, the challenging earth. Finding the doors are the key to a better life. Death is one door, but there are many, many other doors, and within this false earth there are clues everywhere about how to access the REAL one. It’s tricky and requires lots of work and removal of the false persona that we’ve been led to believe is real. When we remember who we are, we automatically have access to the REAL earth. But remembering ain’t easy; luckily there are lots of catalysts around that can trigger a memory.

I work with people and organizations to help them communicate better. What I’ve discovered is that issues connected with communication run far deeper than cleaning up a sentence or two. So much is lost in the translation between what is said and what is heard, it seems to me that communication with words is more of a hindrance that blocks connection rather than a medium that fosters it.

We stumble over our words. We hold back, and through our dishonesty, send an avalanche of mixed messages wherever we go. Is it any wonder why we feel so disconnected and confused?

Words can be powerful tools; they can also be dangerous weapons. They can soothe and heal; they can also slice and burn. They can build bridges or destroy structures. It is all a matter of how they are used and the intention of the user.

There are so many issues around our communication with others. The lack of accountability I’ve witnessed lately with email, voicemail, text messages and even appointments is mind blowing. I’ve had people–more than I care to admit–simply not return my emails, calls and texts, and think nothing of it. Recently, I’ve also had people simply not show for a lunch date or a party I’m giving, in spite of promising to be there. After following up with them to make sure they were okay, all I got were a list of excuses.

It reminds me of something Werner Erhard, the founder of the est training said years ago, “The world doesn’t work when people don’t keep their agreements.” It doesn’t.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t take responsibility for our actions OR our communication (or lack of) with others. I think we’ve gotten rather lazy and careless and pretty damned unconscious about what we do and say. We tell ourselves that it’s not important or doesn’t matter or even we don’t matter. But it ALL MATTERS!

Another issue with our communication is that we don’t say what we really mean. We edit and censor ourselves, unceasingly because we’re more interested in fitting in and not rocking the boat than speaking our truth. What does impact does this have? The world is filled with people who are busy misrepresenting themselves. We are getting by on half-truths. We have handicapped our ability to really connect with each other, to really see and hear and express ourselves. Instead, we present the world with a homogenized, sanitized, pre-digested version of ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lonely and empty. We also see that being presented by others and wonder why we feel as though we don’t really know them.

To know someone and to really be known with nothing in the way means putting the stories down, and just being with each other exactly as we are. It means really seeing, listening to and rejoicing in another. And letting them do the same with you. This stops the starvation and allows you both to know what it is to be nourished by another.

Language can be a barrier to real communication. To minimize that, use your body and heart and senses to communicate more fully with another. Exchange looks and feelings and gestures, and let the words follow.

Words will never replace hugs or a touch on the arm, nor should they. All must work in tandem, but in this age of growing technology, when many relationships are virtual, my fear is that words alone are becoming the medium of choice. As we shorten what we say into little abbreviations, acronyms and sound bites, we risk losing all the subtle nuances that face to face communication gives us, along with the subsequent meaning and substance in our relationships.

Will this dependence on technology ultimately be our Tower of Babel rendering us deaf, dumb and worst of all blind to our own fate?

A house is a metaphor for consciousness. It represents the structure of our lives. Sometimes that structure becomes unstable or the foundation becomes weak. Sometimes the roof needs to be repaired or it needs a new paint job. Sometimes we decide to renovate part of it or make it bigger.

Some of us stay in the same place for years. Others move from place to place. Each has its wisdom and its downside.

What does your house or structure say about you? What do the contents of that structure say? How attached are you to that structure? How much do you identify with it?

I see the structure of our lives as the beliefs, ideas, concepts, values and perceptions we have. Much of that structure was imparted to us by parents, family members, teachers, neighbors, the media, etc. Very little is based in original thought.

I see this structure as a bunch of sentences, statements and equations that we carry around with us wherever we go. These statements make up the filter through which we view our world, they are the foundation upon which we base our decisions, and they are our greatest source of suffering.

To see what structure you’re carrying around, you can begin by simply noticing what you think and what you say to others. Pay attention to statements that have the words “always” and “never” in them as well as statements that contain absolutes in them or assert a position around anything. These types of statements are rigid and typically hold a lot of power in their ability to influence your behavior.

There have been studies that show that we limit ourselves to thinking repeating thoughts throughout the day. Our range is rather small. You might not notice this until you start to pay attention to these thoughts. Think of them as a ticker tape running through your life all day and night. Doesn’t it make sense to find out what you actually think and believe?

Once you do, you may not like what you see and you may have the impulse to burn it down. Those underlying feelings of discontent, restlessness, agitation and depression are the current of life pulsing through your being pushing you to grow beyond these stale, outworn beliefs, most of which were adopted from other people anyway and may not even be authentic for you.

Are you more than the sum total of your history? Of  course you are. But you may never know who you really are with all that clutter and debris in the way.

So I say, by all means burn it down. Or at least open the windows, let in some light and start throwing stuff out. Literally toss it out the windows if you can. Make room for what’s real and authentic. The rest was only borrowed anyway. Let it go. Free yourself up.  Move into the future with a lighter load.

Without the past weighing you down you open yourself up to new possibilities, new choices and ways of being not available to the person you believed you were. Wipe the slate clean. Start over. Surprise people with the new you. Release the worry about what others will think, say and do. Trust your voice above all others.

Once you burn down your old house, you are then free to build a new one. Perhaps you will choose to build a less solid structure this time. Perhaps you will live in a tent or a yurt for awhile. Perhaps you will become nomadic and experience a multitude of new structures without building one of your own for awhile.

Whatever you decide, you will know that you can no longer return to what was. You can honor the past and grieve its loss, but there is no going back. Letting go of your personal history–your story–is a powerful act of rebellion. It is when you become the greatest advocate for yourself. You reclaim and retrieve what is needed and walk away from the rest. This does not mean that you cut all ties, but rather it means that you rise above those biographical, ancestral limitations and allow yourself to express yourself as you really are.

Unencumbered by the past, you are free to become a child again. You become open and receptive and teachable again. The mind and heart become energized by having new options, and being no longer restricted by our thoughts of what we can and cannot do or have or be.

This childlike state makes life feel magical and exciting. This is where we find joy. Most of us had glimpses of this simple feeling when we were children, but over time it got crushed by all the responsibilities and duties and obligations to participate in the societal machine.

We can say no to this freedom killer and yes to ourselves. We can burn down the old ways and build anew. All it takes is the desire and the courage to be free above all else. Once we have that desire, the rest will take care of itself.

Begin now by paying attention to your thoughts and words. Take nothing at face value. Question everything. Before long, you will notice your being begins to stir as if awakening from a long sleep. You will be breathing new life into an old structure. This is the invitation your being was waiting for. Now follow it where it wants to go. You will be amazed at where it takes you.

None of us know how much time we have in this life. That’s part of the beauty of being human and the terror of it. If you knew you only had a few hours, weeks or even months to live, those hours would be worth more than if you knew you had several more decades. But we aren’t privy to that information. So where does that leave us?

It leaves us wanting.

There is a gift in not knowing. It keeps us in the thick of things, immersed in the day to day. If we were always looking over our shoulder for the grim reaper, we wouldn’t be fully engaged in living, but would be focused instead on avoiding death.

However, our sometimes arrogant assumption that we’re going to live forever or a very long time, can lead us to waste precious time on things that simply aren’t worth our attention.

Our time is our currency. Once you spend it, you can’t get it back. It’s gone forever. Are you spending it wisely? Are you spending it doing something you hate or something you love? Are you giving your time to activities and relationships that feed your being? Or are you frittering it away on meaningless tasks and unfulfilling or even abusive relationships?

In the world of work, time takes on an even greater meaning. In order to support ourselves and our families, to keep a roof over our heads and pay our bills, most of us exchange our time for money. In light of the fact that you can’t get those hours back, are you getting compensated enough for that time? It can get a little uncomfortable when looked at that way. We are exchanging one currency for another. But think about the difference in the value of those two currencies. One represents our life and the other represents the legal tender that pays for goods and services. Not quite in the same continuum.

Our entire economy is based on our willingness to give up our life hours for sometimes 40, 50, 60 hours per week in exchange for whatever value our form of livelihood offers. If you are an unskilled laborer, the amount you receive for your life hours is significantly less than a doctor or lawyer. Does that mean your life is worth less? From an economic standpoint, it is. In the big picture, we know that it’s not.

Why do we agree to this devaluation of our time at all? The answer is so simple, it’s painful: most of us don’t take the time to question it. We simply continue to do as we’ve always done.

Some of us are fortunate. We have an experience that jolts us out of our complacency: a near death experience, an illness, an accident, or job loss–something radical that shifts our perspective and typically our priorities, motivating and empowering us to do things differently.

Sometimes it happens more subtly: we meet someone who reminds us there is another way to be or we wake up one day unable to tolerate selling our souls to a meaningless job for one more day.

Regardless of where we are in this process, what we want to remember is that each hour is a precious gift that once spent is gone forever, and how we spend it, with whom, doing what, is an extremely important decision.

As Carlos Castaneda learned from his teacher, Don Juan, we need to use death as ally, so that we always remember to value ourselves and our time.

How will you spend your time today?

Life is a wonder and a mystery. We move through it under the strong illusion that we have some degree of control of it or at least our personal corner. On the surface at least, we don’t, and life does not hesitate to remind of this regularly.

But there is something deeper here…a paradox to be sure. There is a deep place within us that is connected to the Whole of ALL THAT IS. It is in this connection that we can tap into something deeper. This is the place where we can see the bigger picture and recognize the Divine Perfection all around us. It is the place where we can laugh at what is unfolding and not take it so seriously. This is also the place where we can get freed up of all of that drama and biographical, genetic, ancestral and societal baggage we keep dragging around with us.

As small children, we are powerfully imprinted by our early experiences, both good and bad. It is where our first impressions of love, relationships and the world are made. Depending on whether those early experiences were positive and uplifting or dark and traumatic or somewhere in between, they shape our perception and ways of navigating through the world.

If we grow up on a starvation diet devoid of much attention and affection, that becomes our normal because we don’t know what a full meal tastes like. Because it feels normal, we will tend to perpetuate that diet and attract people and circumstances into our lives that only partially feed us.

To stop carrying those early imprints with us, we need to heal and release the thoughts and beliefs about the world they created. Often they are so much a part of us, that we cannot even see them. But in spite of their invisibility, they shape and influence every decision we make.

For someone who is used to being deprived, learning to receive love and attention and affection, is a major healing event. It is a process of unwinding and unraveling all of those deeply ingrained ways of being, reacting and moving and opening the channel for a new level of aliveness.

In order to do what it believes will keep us safe, our subconscious sabotages all of our desires and needs and deep cravings to grow and change. This saboteur affects everything we do. To really heal these subterranean levels of fear, we need to connect with something greater. To reduce the imagined threat of releasing our old way of being, we need to remember who we are.

This is nothing short of dying to what was and being reborn to what is. It is where we will find real freedom. It is where we will find our authentic voice. It is where we will learn what it means to be alive.

We, perhaps for the first time, will be back in the driver’s seat of our lives, rather than feeling like some rogue part of ourselves is behind the wheel.

This is not really about control, but rather surrender and allowing and being with what is at a very high level of acceptance. Control is about the need to survive. When we begin to taste freedom, we no longer feel in danger and so no longer need to control things. We are no longer out of alignment with what is before us and what is unfolding. The feeling of being out of sync was simply all that noise from our subconscious trying to survive what it perceived to be a very confusing world.

There are many modalities that allow us to release our early scripts and beliefs. When we are ready to really let go, we will find them.

In the meantime, take a look at your circumstances and relationships. Notice any repeating themes or patterns? Feelings of powerlessness and frustration? A sense of moving ten steps forward and two back? A gnawing feeling of being victimized, but with no clue how to shake the feeling or change your circumstances?

That’s it. Keep paying attention to it. Call it forth from the shadows into the light of day. Watch what happens when a little bit of awareness creeps in. The power and intensity starts to diminish. Exposure is half the battle.

It’s as if you’ve discovered a few stowaways living inside of you…long-term house guests, and it’s time to show them the door.

For that you may need help, because these squatters aren’t usually so keen on leaving. They will do anything to convince you they are helping you and that you cannot survive without them. An objective person can help you to hold steady and not be swayed or undermined by such tactics.

Sometimes you have to sneak up on them and trick them into leaving. Whatever it takes, whatever modalities you choose, by all means stand firm. Give them a hug, thank them for serving you, but don’t forget to lock the door once they’re gone.

Photo by Julian Fann

Now + Here = Nowhere

There is Nowhere to go…there is only Here…Now

Here Now…Now Here…No-Where…

There is No-Thing to do…only Nothing…the Void that is filled with
the illusion of Some-Things…

There is No-body to be…only Nobody…the Void that is filled with the
illusion of Some-Bodies…

From this place of Nowhere, Nothing and Nobody…from this Void…comes
the IS-NESS that is Every-Thing…Everything that IS…the IS-NESS that
is Every-where…Everywhere that IS…

No Separate-ness…No Separation…No-Thing Separate…No-Where
Separate…No-Body Separate…

What IS as IS…

This IS…That IS…There IS…

It IS…

No-Thing-ness as Some-Thing-ness…

One Thing…All Things…Every-Thing…

Being One-Thing…Being Every-thing…Being No-thing

All of IT and None of IT…

IT IS…IT IS NOT…

ONE-NESS…ALL-NESS…IS-NESS

I AM

WE ARE

THEY ARE

Now Here…

No-Where…No-Thing…No-Body…

Everywhere…Everything…Everybody…

I, You, We, Us, Them, Him, Her, It…

Words to hold us in Time and Space…Some-Thing to grab onto…

Some-Thing…Some-Body…Some-One…Some-Place…

Any-Thing…Any-Body…Any-One…Any-Place…

As long as WE ARE HERE…

NOW…

Words…

Just words…

No-Thing more…

I’ve been watching the first season of David Lynch’s show, Twin Peaks. It’s been years since the show aired and yet, during all that time, I somehow missed it. I’ve seen many of his movies, so I was prepared for the intensity and the dark-angled view of life’s edges and eccentricities and outright naked rawness through which he turns the lens on humanity. The recognizable musical arrangements as well as his absolute obsession with the colors green and red, make the show familiar territory for any Lynch fan.

However, two things struck me.

The first is that the show is set in fictional Twin Peaks, Washington, but was filmed in North Bend, Washington, a half an hour away from Seattle, where I now live. Now granted I’ve only been in the actual town once, but I walked around it quite a bit and ate in the very café which serves as the centerpiece of many scenes in the show. I have also been to the falls that appear in a few shots as well as a backdrop for the opening credits.

The second is Lynch’s uncanny ability to brutally and without apology penetrate through the superficial levels of human niceties and get right to the ribbon of uniqueness that sets each on of us apart. He seems to hold a parallel fascination with what holds us together and what separates us in our relationships with each other. He grabs onto the tentacles of our deep-seated alienation and squeezes it for all the blood has can extract. He dips us into the deepest, coldest darkest water he can and holds us there until we admit that we, too, are just as crazy or afraid or odd or horny or dangerous as his characters.

And doing that in the place I now call home makes it all the more alluring (for me) to watch.

In fact, I cannot look away. And he knows it. He’s the Diane Arbus of filmmaking and making us uncomfortable is part of what drives him. This discomfort lands us in territories of feelings and thoughts and even dreams that feel both forbidden and in many ways, we think, better off forgotten. We prefer to skate along the surface of life, ignoring as much as possible, the subterranean murkiness underneath. But like a carnival sideshow barker at the old time fairs, he appeals to our voyeuristic tendencies and beckons us to come and look at the freaks inside the tent.

Of course, the freaks are us.

So then, what is it that draws us inside? Curiosity? Fascination? Empathy? Horror? Probably all of those things. Lynch turns our absolute confusion over life’s meaning on it’s head by showing us the absurdity of those little daily things that most of us most pass by with little or no consciousness. He’s almost screaming at us to wake up and look at the FULL range of human experience, soak it in and look at it in all it’s unadulterated glory.

He wants to immerse us in the full gestalt of life and he does this by exaggerating his characters until they almost become caricatures. This technique shines a big magnifying glass on all the blemishes, quirks, secrets, scars, wounds so that we can really see them. You can actually feel this discomfort on both a physical and an emotional level as it seeps in and spreads over your being like a pool of oily liquid. Then once Lynch has you there, he lingers for awhile, plays with the music or some lighting effects and just makes you wait it out. Because he doesn’t work with the same timing we’re used to with other shows or films. No, he operates in his own self-created world with it’s own set of rules, and by entering into it, you’ve agreed to follow them.

It feels a bit manipulative, but somehow also ingenious. No one even comes close to exploring these realms in the way he does. He is bold and brave and willing to go places few others dare to go.

Which brings me back to where I live. Though I’ve only lived in Washington State for a year, I can see how it was the perfect place to film Twin Peaks. Why? Because as sophisticated as the city of Seattle appears, it, and the area surrounding it, still make up the wild, wild West, and as they have for centuries, people come here to get away from the conventions and restrictions of other parts of the country. There’s more space and less pressure to conform, which can and does result in a fair amount of bizarre behavior. People who might not feel comfortable or fit in somewhere else, might find a cozy little neighborhood or town out here where their odd taste for clothing or strange hobbies and behaviors will be tolerated.

I suppose that’s a good thing. It’s certainly never dull. No, instead, it is lush and ripe with a broad range of human expression, especially when you tune in and are receptive to it. If you’re not sure what I mean by that, try looking at the world around you the way Lynch does. Penetrate the layers. Push past the obvious. Submerge into the depths. And see, really see what is right in front of you. You may be surprised and disturbed by what you see, but at least you will finally be seeing. And that, my friend, is what it means to truly be alive.

I’ve been speaking to friends of mine about why life seems so hard much of the time, and through a circuitous route, we ended up with a number of conclusions, none entirely satisfying. People’s theories ranged from, “none of this is real” to “your outer world is a reflection of your inner world” to “suffering and struggle are necessary” to all theories in between.

Even those of us who put lots of attention on the meaning of life seem baffled most of the time. No amount of our intricate story-weaving really even touches the mysteries of life nor answers our demands for an explanation.

I’ve always cultivated a fantasy that somewhere, sometime I would meet someone who would tap me on the shoulder and point me in the direction of the Truth. That like Dorothy and her friends in the Wizard of Oz, the man behind the curtain would be outed.

I suppose the not-knowing is what keeps life interesting and magical. The uncertainty keeps us in the game. But, and most would agree, sometimes, it is just all too much. Sometimes, I’m just tired. Moving through the density of the 3-D feels like a trudge through the mud, and once in a while — without the help of mind altering substances or the nightly out of body forays of the dreamstate — I’d like to have the sensation of flowing freely through and with it (sober AND awake).

The best I’ve come up with so far is to not resist what is. Rather, I just let myself fall into what’s happening in the moment…fully and completely, until I’m so in it, I don’t differentiate myself from it. I merge into it with a full out embrace and trust. Seated in the Is-ness, I am gifted with periods of real peace and even joy, but not what I would call freedom. Sorry, but that’s what I’m really going for. Sadly, I think that’s the one thing I cannot really have. At least not in the way I imagine it.

Being here on this plane of existence doesn’t appear to be about freedom or transcendence or nirvana. If it is, it certainly isn’t the easiest door to open. Believe me, I’ve tried, and paradoxically, it is that trying that has led to my failure. It seems as though the very act of wanting and seeking and desiring a way out of the limitations of physically existence, actually seals the door even tighter, whereas, letting go of the need for things to be different, being with all that is as it is, tends to crack it open just a hair.

In other words, if you’re here, be here. Death is your ticket out. Life has a built in exit plan. Knowing that, wouldn’t you want to hang out here and see what happens next? Besides, how do you or I know that once we die, we aren’t lining up to come right back? How do we know this isn’t one of the coolest places in existence to incarnate?

On the other hand, it could also be a prison matrix where we’ve been sent to learn some heavy-duty lessons as part of some kind of karmic debt. Or even further down that line of thinking, we could be prisoners with no real reason behind our imprisonment other than we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. In that model, those of us looking for an escape would be considered heroes.

This illusiveness and speculation is precisely the problem. Like a kaleidoscope, our experience of life shifts depending on how you look at it. Turn it one way and it looks like a cosmic dance filled with divine blessings and opportunities. Turn it another way, and it looks like a cruel, painful phenomenon filled with unnecessary hardship and suffering. Turn it again, and it falls somewhere in the middle and looks like the most ordinary thing in the world.

Maybe it’s all of those things, plus more. Perhaps we’ll never really know what this is all about. Maybe that’s a good thing.

I don’t know…personally, I don’t think I’ll ever stop looking for answers or wondering what’s around the next corner. Maybe that’s a good thing, too.

Something’s gotta give. The planet is strained to the breaking point in its ability to sustain our burgeoning human population with our ever growing waste and toxic lifestyles.

We need help. But short of an evolved extraterrestrial species arriving at the eleventh hour to bail us out of our stupidity and ignorance, we’re on our own.

To some people, plain and simple, that would mean we’re doomed. However, I would like to suggest that left to our own devices, we actually DO have the capacity to transform our current situation. The problem is that we’ve forgotten how. We’ve forgotten that in addition to being human, we also have within us something quite extraordinary, something mostly unseen and unnoticed, but something not at all limited by the boundaries of time and space.

This transcendent aspect of us is the energy or intelligence within us that created us and gives us life. Don’t you find it strange, how little attention we give to this core essence of our existence? Instead, few of us acknowledge that this even exists or that we have any access to it or would know what to do with it even if we could access it.

It’s as if life is a puzzle and we’re born into it with a bit of amnesia and confusion and only a handful of clues about our existence. As our life unfolds, we have many opportunities to remember and become clear and even to work the puzzle. Our tendency is to look outside of ourselves for answers. There are so many sources of information and teachers out there who promise to answer our questions. All ultimately lead us astray, except those who redirect our query back to their source: ourselves.

It is only then that we can begin to discover for ourselves not only the answers to our questions, but the source of the questions themselves. We begin at the end and end at the beginning. All our fruitless searches return us to where we started, with the greatest discovery of all being that there is nowhere to go and what we seek we already have.

With that said, how will that discovery save us? It will not only save us but it will relieve us finally of the burden of having to figure it all out. Because whether we know it or not, we are not in charge of the show. We are simply playing our small role. There is instead, a director or cosmic intelligence that can see the whole thing as it plays out. Our only duty is to make sure we listen to that intelligence as it gives us our cues and tells us our positions in the grand drama that is unfolding.

What does freedom really look like?

To me, freedom means there is a lot of space and room around me and my life. Lots of room to breathe and move and be flexible and spontaneous and intuitive. Lots of space for options and choices and sudden bursts of ideas. Freedom is flow; freedom is effortless doing.

Is this pure fantasy? Or is it possible to have a life imbibed with joy and meaning?

Yes and no. It’s possible, but from where most of us are sitting, it’s not easy. In fact, true freedom goes against everything we’ve been taught and shown and told to believe.  To be truly free means to question the very structures that make up the life we’re involved in on a daily basis—the structure of work, family, community, education, government, etc. Our very lifestyle and the decisions we habitually make are all up for grabs when it comes to shifting our perspective.

The problem is that we are terrified of not fitting in, of not conforming or adhering to the status quo. Perhaps we have stepped out the box in one aspect of our lives; we’ve dipped a toe in the water, but when we truly question our state of being in any given moment, how many of us can truly say we are free or that our lives bring us joy and fulfillment?

Where is the passion in our relationships and our work? Where is the wonder we felt as very young children when we are exploring the world around us? Why were we told again and again to put away childish things? Why were we required to suppress our natural curiosity and submit to the will of others?

This makes no sense. From a very young age we have been on a path of soul destruction. Told to deny our natural urges and interests, we lost touch with our inner voices. Instead we tuned into the cacophony of signals coming in from experts and authorities who told us what to do and how to think.

Is it any wonder that the very idea of freedom is such a foreign one when what is natural and innate in us has been diverted and sabotaged by the very world we live in?

Sounds pretty bleak when looked at with such razor sharp eyes. However, there is a way to soften the blow a bit. You can start where you are. Examine your life and look for the small pieces of it that bring you joy, the areas where you feel the most authentic, in which you are expressing yourself without hesitation. Take that part of your life and expand it a bit, just keep adding to it bit by bit. Kind of like remodeling an old house—sometimes it requires that you take down some walls.

What would a life without walls look like? Personally, it is radically different from the life I have lived for most of my adult life. It is a life that first questions, and then breaks through paradigms one by one, and doesn’t stop until there is enough room to express yourself freely and fully. Any hindrances must be looked at—and I mean ANYTHING that is standing in the way of being who you are and expressing it fully. For many people this typically implies looking at the work they do everyday. For others, it is a relationship. And still others, it is an overall lifestyle issue. Finally, for some brave souls, it means looking at EVERYTHING.

Face it, we all lie to ourselves and others about who we are and what we want. We do this, and rightly so, to survive. Our society and culture expects this of us. We want to fit in and engage, so we play along.

However, there comes a point, in which these lies or walls need to come down. The time most likely for this to happen is midlife. This is when many of us come face to face with our choices and realize that they are not reflective of our innermost being. This can manifest as an existential crisis in which we make rash decisions to try and remedy the situation or make up for lost time. Our mortality looms large and there is an urgency to make things right. The ability to suppress our desires and passions wanes and instead this energy bubbles and boils in an almost volcanic turbulence below the surface begging us to finally honor our need to be authentic.

Unfortunately, our culture is not too supportive of breaking down walls. Many become frightened by the intensity of their discontent and seek professional help to quell it. For those who don’t choose that option, and depending upon how far off the mark they really are from living authentically, it can be nothing short of a complete upheaval. The level of upheaval is usually in direct proportion to the level and amount of time a person has been holding back.

I like to think of myself in an ever expanding process of walking the talk. To whatever degree my life doesn’t reflect my values and the ideas I put out to others, then I’m a hypocrite. In the areas of my life where that inconsistency exists, then I need to remain silent. My words are empty and meaningless, unless I am demonstrating them by embodying them and living them. This sounds harsh, I know, but without this standard then there is no place for me to go. Authenticity and freedom and especially joy are the mile markers that let me know I’m on the right track, and that I am honoring my soul and its gifts.

The best part is that none of this is the means to an end. The journey itself is what’s so profoundly beautiful about being alive. Having an epiphany, a breakthrough, a shift in perspective is part of the fun of being here. We never know what’s around the next corner and I just want to make sure my view isn’t blocked by some poorly erected wall. Eventually, I would like to think I won’t need any walls at all to feel safe.

In the meantime, the fresh air is feeling pretty good.