Letting go of relationships, possessions, habits, activities—anything we’ve grown attached to—is one of the most difficult, yet necessary parts of personal growth. It is akin to shedding old skin. In order to make room for the new skin or the new aspects of our lives, we must inevitably part with the old. Sometimes this means we need to say goodbye to negative relationships which are holding us back from realizing our potential. Other times it means moving to a new place in order to take advantage of new opportunities. Regardless of what it is, we are faced with severing a connection with something which is comfortable and familiar and exchanging it with something unknown. This can be a frightening experience, and one which may have pain and loss associated with it.

Sometimes we have to give up something which we know is in our own best interest to give up. However, in spite of this knowledge, we still don’t want to let go of it. We may become stubborn and resistant. We may decide to quit pursuing our dreams for awhile, deciding that success requires too much of us. That’s okay, for awhile.

Rebellion can be healthy if not taken too far. Holding onto bad habits or unhealthy, stressful situations can in some cases help us to see the cost they are exacting. We cling on, fighting change, feeling miserable, but righteous because we are in control. Over time this clinging drains us of the inspiration and positive energy we once felt at the prospect of turning our lives around, of finally taking steps to make our dreams a reality. We wonder why we lost touch with our vision.

When a cup is full, no more liquid can be poured into it. In order to add fresh liquid, the cup must be emptied first. So, too with our lives. We need to make room for new ideas, new opportunities, new ways of being. If our lives are too full of clutter, there is no room for anything new.

How will you know what to let got of? In a cluttered room it is difficult to see what is worth keeping and what must go.  Therefore, one must begin to organize and take stock of the various elements of one’s life. As you begin this process, begin to ask yourself, which of these things will help me to lead a healthy balanced life, and which of these things will hold me back? If you are looking at a work situation, observe your energy level when you are engaged in it. If you feel depleted afterwards, then take steps to replace it. If you still find some reward and some energy and satisfaction from doing it, then perhaps it is worth keeping around for a little while. Everything can be measured in terms of you overall ultimate goal. What fits and what doesn’t fit into the vision you have for a successful, fulfilling life?

Another way to decide if you want to continue participating in something is to ask yourself, if you had six months to live, would you still do it? Use death as an ally. We are all going to die and most of us don’t know when our time will be up.  Therefore, I urge you to use your time wisely. Don’t waste it or throw it away. If anything feels as though it is wasting your time, eliminate it from your life. To see the benefits, find something right now that is small, that you want to eliminate form you life, some old clothes, old books or furniture. Give them away as soon as possible. Lighten your load.  Now you have more room in your closets, on your shelves or in the rooms of your house. You can now leave the space open for awhile or replace it with something new, something which better reflects the direction your life is headed.

Remember closing old doors, is a signal to the universe that you are ready to open new ones. When you are willing to let go of old things, you become a magnet for new opportunities. How do I know this? I’ve witnessed it dozens of times in my own life and in the lives of others. The only way you will know for sure is if you try it for yourself.

Think of your life as a living experiment or think tank, and it will become suddenly wondrous to you, and exhilarating. Lessons surround us and life rewards us when we respect its ability to teach us.

While looking through my computer files recently, I came upon a very powerful perspective on spiritual teachers which I resonate with completely. I hesitated to post it here because when I copied it into a file I neglected to cite the author (a rare lapse for me).

Anyway, it is worth sharing, so I will risk posting it without citation. If I had to guess, I would say the author might be Jed McKenna, the author of three brutally honest books on enlightenment. Or I may have copied it from one of the thousands of websites I’ve visited in the past few years. Regardless, perhaps someone will recognize it and set the record straight.

In the meantime, I pass on these words of wisdom…may they bring clarity to your journey and return your trust where it belongs: back to yourself.

There is nothing glamorous about the process of awakening. People who awaken do not become famous spiritual teachers. They do not build fancy organizations. They live for the most part unnoticed by all by a few students who recognize their freedom and authority.

Teachers who are valued by the world tend to teach at a very superficial level. For the world rewards tangible outcomes and effects, and spiritual accomplishments tend to be intangible.

One who masters the mind is not valued by society. He may be the most powerful being alive, but you will not find him in a position of power. In truth, even if such a position were offered to him, he would not take it. Such a person is not concerned with the manipulation of outer events.

A teacher cannot tell you want to do or what not to do, for the responsibility for both doing and undoing belongs to you. All the teacher can do is encourage you to take that responsibility here and now.

Teachers who tell you what to do or what not to do are betraying their spiritual immaturity. A wise teacher asks good questions, but she gives very little advice.

Life is a wonder and a mystery. We move through it under the strong illusion that we have some degree of control of it or at least our personal corner. On the surface at least, we don’t, and life does not hesitate to remind of this regularly.

But there is something deeper here…a paradox to be sure. There is a deep place within us that is connected to the Whole of ALL THAT IS. It is in this connection that we can tap into something deeper. This is the place where we can see the bigger picture and recognize the Divine Perfection all around us. It is the place where we can laugh at what is unfolding and not take it so seriously. This is also the place where we can get freed up of all of that drama and biographical, genetic, ancestral and societal baggage we keep dragging around with us.

As small children, we are powerfully imprinted by our early experiences, both good and bad. It is where our first impressions of love, relationships and the world are made. Depending on whether those early experiences were positive and uplifting or dark and traumatic or somewhere in between, they shape our perception and ways of navigating through the world.

If we grow up on a starvation diet devoid of much attention and affection, that becomes our normal because we don’t know what a full meal tastes like. Because it feels normal, we will tend to perpetuate that diet and attract people and circumstances into our lives that only partially feed us.

To stop carrying those early imprints with us, we need to heal and release the thoughts and beliefs about the world they created. Often they are so much a part of us, that we cannot even see them. But in spite of their invisibility, they shape and influence every decision we make.

For someone who is used to being deprived, learning to receive love and attention and affection, is a major healing event. It is a process of unwinding and unraveling all of those deeply ingrained ways of being, reacting and moving and opening the channel for a new level of aliveness.

In order to do what it believes will keep us safe, our subconscious sabotages all of our desires and needs and deep cravings to grow and change. This saboteur affects everything we do. To really heal these subterranean levels of fear, we need to connect with something greater. To reduce the imagined threat of releasing our old way of being, we need to remember who we are.

This is nothing short of dying to what was and being reborn to what is. It is where we will find real freedom. It is where we will find our authentic voice. It is where we will learn what it means to be alive.

We, perhaps for the first time, will be back in the driver’s seat of our lives, rather than feeling like some rogue part of ourselves is behind the wheel.

This is not really about control, but rather surrender and allowing and being with what is at a very high level of acceptance. Control is about the need to survive. When we begin to taste freedom, we no longer feel in danger and so no longer need to control things. We are no longer out of alignment with what is before us and what is unfolding. The feeling of being out of sync was simply all that noise from our subconscious trying to survive what it perceived to be a very confusing world.

There are many modalities that allow us to release our early scripts and beliefs. When we are ready to really let go, we will find them.

In the meantime, take a look at your circumstances and relationships. Notice any repeating themes or patterns? Feelings of powerlessness and frustration? A sense of moving ten steps forward and two back? A gnawing feeling of being victimized, but with no clue how to shake the feeling or change your circumstances?

That’s it. Keep paying attention to it. Call it forth from the shadows into the light of day. Watch what happens when a little bit of awareness creeps in. The power and intensity starts to diminish. Exposure is half the battle.

It’s as if you’ve discovered a few stowaways living inside of you…long-term house guests, and it’s time to show them the door.

For that you may need help, because these squatters aren’t usually so keen on leaving. They will do anything to convince you they are helping you and that you cannot survive without them. An objective person can help you to hold steady and not be swayed or undermined by such tactics.

Sometimes you have to sneak up on them and trick them into leaving. Whatever it takes, whatever modalities you choose, by all means stand firm. Give them a hug, thank them for serving you, but don’t forget to lock the door once they’re gone.

How do you like to learn your life lessons? The easy way or the hard way? Didn’t know you had a choice? That’s the beauty of the gift of free will we’re given—we always have a choice.

Welcoming, inviting, allowing, and embracing life lessons is certainly the easier way to go. Running away, ignoring, resisting and fighting the lessons that occur are going to ensure that we’re in for a rough ride.

We hold most of the cards (more on that later) that determine whether our path is one of joy or suffering. Now I’m not knocking suffering. It’s an incredible teacher, but we don’t have to get a degree in it.

The key is to volunteer or sign up for the lessons, rather than make them pursue us. A life lesson that has been avoided is no fun. By the time it has become painful, quite a bit of time has passed, and the intensity of the lesson has built up way beyond our comfort level, such that in order to get our attention, its approach is rather more akin to a two by four or bulldozer rather than a nicely paced challenge.

Far better to meet this thing halfway and invite it in for tea rather than wait until it breaks our door down. Whether we like it or not, these lessons are coming one way or another.

What the Soul needs, the Soul gets. Period. And if necessary, it will use the override button to circumvent whatever dalliance or detour or distraction that has led us astray from our path.

Typically, this avoidance occurs when we listen to the mind instead of to our intuition. The fact that the mind is often referred to affectionately as the drunk money is no accident—if left to its own devices, it behaves in a way that is clearly not sober or sane. In fact, following the path the mind takes is like following a raving lunatic without a map. After exhausting yourself going around in circles and endless dead ends, the only place you’ll end up is either back where you started or even worse, lost.

Better to stop moving and check in with a more reliable source: your intuition. We’ve all been given this incredible internal guidance system, but sadly, most of us don’t trust it enough to cultivate it or learn how to use it. This creates all kinds of problems because listening to our intuition is the only reliable way to hear what our Soul wants. It is an internal system of checks and balances that allows us to sort through the massive quantities of information presented to us at any given time and to discern what to put our attention on. Without that, we are walking around with no sense of direction or purpose, just wandering aimlessly in a state of constant reaction to what we encounter.

In order to significantly reduce suffering in our lives, we have to learn to establish clear boundaries around ourselves to eliminate lots of meaningless stimulation and distractions and then determine from that what our Soul needs for growth and expansion. This is a more proactive way of living, in which we move toward our lessons rather than away from them. It saves a lot of time and trouble and heartache.

I see the mind as a rebellious teenager that constantly tries to find clever ways to get into the driver’s seat of our lives. The only way to deal with it’s juvenile antics is to be firm, direct, and most importantly, consistent when you are reminding it that it’s place is in the backseat or even the passenger seat, but never in the driver’s seat. No, that seat is reserved for the Soul or as some people refer to it, the Higher Self, the part of us that has a map and can see the bigger picture and knows the best route to take us where we need to go.

So take a moment and scan your life right now. Do you have a vague awareness that there are some things that need your attention? Do yourself a favor and address them right now before what is a gentle easy lesson becomes a brutal difficult one.

If you’re in the middle of a painful lesson right now, don’t beat yourself up. We all have blind spots and issues we sweep under the rug. We all have lessons that have required varying degrees of pain before we were willing to learn them. Do what you can to finish the lesson, recover and restore balance into your life again, and then comfort yourself with the idea that this type of thing can be avoided in the future.

Because while life may very well be a game, one thing it’s not is a game of chance. As I said earlier, we hold most of the cards. The rest is influenced by other factors, including, but not limited to, other people’s free will, laws of physicality, past actions and intentions, subconscious scripts, not to mention the Almighty Dealer. However, with that said, we do have a say in how it goes. The first step is acknowledging that fact in the present moment, and then working from there to minimize future suffering and to evolve to a place where some of those other factors can be addressed, thereby increasing our odds not of winning, but rather enjoying the game.

The mystic is someone who feels a calling to answer life’s big questions. A mystic always wants to know more. A mystic is never really satisfied, until he or she is stretched in the area of intuitive wisdom and awareness. A mystic lives for the quest, for the satisfaction of knowing that the mystery of life can never be solved. There is always more to know, more experiences to have, more of life to express.

A mystic takes the road less traveled; in fact, a mystic is likely to try and find the road not yet traveled so that he or she can create a new way, to cut a path forward, to make the way easier for others.

The connection to Source feels more natural to the mystic than the life of the world. Mystics spend part of everyday strengthening this connection, for without it they feel lost.

Many of us feel an inclination toward the mystical life, but are often too caught up and seduced by the attractions of the world to fully embody this path. Many artists are on a path similar to mystics. In fact, many artists are also mystics. The two paths complement each other on many levels. Both are more connected to their inner lives than they are to the world. Both are intensely curious about the mysteries of life. Both feel called to express either the mystical or artistic aspects of human life or both.

Mystics are gifted with a high level of intuition. They are typically empathic and feel other’s suffering deeply. They need solitude to recharge and quiet time for self-reflection. This does not equip them with tools to function in the world the way the average person does. Because of this, both the artist and the mystic are outsiders—they don’t fit into the status quo or conform well into society. They typically feel more at home on the fringe.

The life of the mystic is about transcendence and seeing beyond the ordinary world of everyday appearances. Mystics are looking to regain a sense of unity with all that is. They are ever aware that there is something missing in life and they spend their lives seeking this reconnection with the greatness that life is.

Never satisfied with the ordinary, mystics are willing to do whatever it takes to find this place of unity, including spending long stretches of time alone. Reducing the external stimuli allows for an immersion in the vast expanse of inner worlds, which brings about a renewed perspective of the world. It is a constant state of death and rebirth, as one lets go of identifying with the small self in exchange for a connection with a larger presence.

The yearning for freedom from ordinary human limitations is what drives the mystic forward through the toughest challenges and past the most impossible obstacles. This sense of freedom, rather than being a longing for something unknown, instead, for the mystic, feels more akin to a memory of a state of being–a return to something rather than an arrival—freedom being the natural human state.

To be in the world and yet not of it, is the ultimate state of being spoken about by our great spiritual teachers. Not abandoning what is, but embracing it fully without feeling infringed upon by it in any way. The mystical life is the discovery of the space between breaths, the infinitesimal gap in time where everything stops, the place between the seen and the unseen. It is this place that creation emanates from and gives birth to the expression of what is. It is in this place that freedom is found.

For the mystic, nothing less than this freedom will do.

The artist is an observer and the creator–someone who has deliberately chosen to withdraw from most levels of participation in the world. The artist takes this stance to free his/her mind from the myriad of distractions that exist in the modern world and on a daily basis that threaten the roots of creativity.

The artist is better able to capture and express what most people take for granted about their lives. Failure to really “see” keeps people asleep to the world around them, especially the time they live in.

Compelled from a very early age to stand back, out of the way, to get a better view of both the mundane and the mysterious, the artist’s mind is free to wander and his/her body is tuned to take in sensual impressions.

Most of us have been brought up to participate, with time off to sleep, eat and distract ourselves with movies, television and other trivial events. Creativity has been given a very small piece in most people’s lives, with the exception of those who are driven and compelled. The rest of us could use a little more of it. Nothing compares with doing art for art’s sake. Let the mind wander. It wants to do this, but we have been trained to keep it under control, with the exception of actual dreaming.

Creative expression is like dreaming, only it takes on a form that can be experienced by another. It is a form of communication.

The best art is usually created with the least limitation of the mind. Fear has a specific place in art—when it is used to bring forth a particular mode of being, not as an inhibitor.

When one’s free time is used to be creative, the mind has been blessed by being allowed to be. When the mind is not given the chance to wander enough, one begins to feel frustration, and the mind will not respond as well to the demands placed on it.

Creativity is rest for the mind. Escapism tires the mind and bores it. Creativity nurtures and feeds the mind.

Art in any form can be used to heal other people and bring joy to their hearts and souls.

Each person who gives himself/herself permission to be free gives the people around them permission to be free.

The world needs mirrors and role models of freedom and sanity. It needs people to have the courage to show others what freedom looks like….that it works.

Without that, we’re all lost and imprisoned by a reality that is insane, but that we’re all agreeing on. It is by not agreeing to this reality that we can shift it for us and for others.

Everyone is waiting for someone else to mirror this freedom so they feel safe enough to do it themselves….so they don’t have to do it alone. Then, maybe if enough people do it, they might be willing to try freedom for themselves.

But some of us have to go first…takes the risks…venture forth without a map…and light the way for others. This is the path of the mystic…the warrior…the teacher…the guide.

So few of us are willing to do this…to step out of the crowd…we take a few steps and then we stop, because freedom seems impossible and unattainable.

But for every one of us who almost makes it and stops…it is not just we who lose, but those who are relying on us to show them that it is possible. They’re hoping that someone will finally figure this out…in fact, they’re counting on it.

This is where the “I” ends and the “WE” begins…what I choose ultimately matters to the collective…it either continues to maintain the status quo or it helps to transcend it.

A tall order…not the easy path…but for me, the only one worth pursuing.

photo by Julian Fann

My father gave me books on higher consciousness when I was fifteen. I didn’t see it as unusual at the time. He was engaged in his own search, living away from our family, and thought I might want to tag along.

Whatever his reasons, this introduction to the ways of the mind and spirit, set into motion a pattern that would shape my adult life. Unlike many of my teenage friends, I rarely trekked the path to God-like oblivion using mind bending drugs. Instead, I looked for answers in books with titles like Be Here Now, The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment, Handbook to Higher Consciousness, and in places like Boulder, Santa Fe, and Big Sur. I attended workshops and conferences, joined salons and support groups. I listened to channels, talked with psychics, got Rolphed, visited acupuncturists, ingested herbs, took yoga classes, meditated, went to India, and did est.

My thirst was unquenchable. My cravings unstoppable. Whenever the restless urge hit me, I would pack up my belongings, quit my job, and essentially turn my life upside-down–in order to seek out a new and hopefully better experience. Like an addict in need of a fix, I wanted something to fill up the burning hole in my psyche. But nothing worked.

The journey seemed never-ending. Where one path ended, another began. When one teacher’s message grew stale, there was always another one waiting to take his place.

Marriage and the birth of my first child only intensified my restlessness. My husband, an adventure-seeker himself, was a perfect companion. My son simply adapted to his arrival into a rootless life. Our family became drifters on the New Age Highway. It looked as though we would never settle down or focus on a real career.

Then we hit bottom: we joined a religious cult.

At the time, I thought I’d found The Answer. Years of fruitless effort culminated into my arrival one warm fall evening at an innocent-looking adult education class at a local community college. It was called “Soul Travel”. The teacher had a Ph.D. after his name and the course description revealed nothing more than an opportunity to learn how to have an out-of body experience. Right up my alley.

I have to admit, I was a little wary when at the beginning of the first class, the instructor starting handing out books with ethereal-looking people on the cover and unrecognizable words throughout the text. Then he asked us to chant and told us stories of beings that existed on “other” planes. My gut reaction was to run away from there. Many people did. But for some reason I stayed.

Six weeks later, my husband and I became members of an eastern-based international spiritual group. I devoured all the books, practiced daily contemplation, chanted and attended local member groups. All of my questions had found a home.

Before long though, my whole world became framed with the cult’s viewpoint of the world and I became blind to other ideas. Eventually, my family relocated to the Midwest to work at the groups’ headquarters. We ate, slept and breathed the teachings. We focused our inner thoughts on our teacher, the leader of the organization. His framed picture adorned our bedroom wall.

Neither my husband’s family nor mine considered this unusual behavior. They had watched on the sidelines for years as we dabbled in new experiences and saw nothing to get alarmed about. This was compounded by the fact that the group we joined resembled corporate America more than a robe-wearing cult. On the outside, the membership looked just like everyday, ordinary people. They weren’t sequestered into a guarded compound. They lived in neighborhoods among non-members. They walked, talked and went to work like everyone else. In fact, nothing about their behavior indicated that they belonged to a fringe religious group. They were masters at this type of deception. A quick glimpse on the inside for anyone who ventured to look would have revealed that they were leading highly delusion lives, in which they believed they were among the chosen few on a journey that would end their cycle of rebirth here on earth and begin their journey to higher planes of existence.

This group was selling was quite a bag of goods. Life everlasting. Freedom from suffering. A special place in the spiritual hierarchy of the universe. Lucky for them, some of us were foolish enough to buy it.

Three years into it when we finally discovered they were lying, and that the founder had committed numerous acts of plagiarism and deception, it didn’t really surprise us. We simply packed our bags and left.

The good news is that the day I walked away from that group, I realized that I was free of my obsession. The enlightenment game finally had ended and the work of my real spiritual journey had begun.

To be continued…

Plugging into Source…

Bringing forth what one discovers there…

Moving IT from thought to form…

Creating the seen from the Unseen…

No limit to the greatness of that which is created, except what we put there…

Desire fuels Creation…

Desire calls forth that which is wanting to be seen…

We are the channel, the conduit through which God creates…

A partnership of existence without which neither can Be or Know or Love…

A dance that makes the invisible visible…

Bringing forth what is dark and making it Light…

Infinite possibilities and endless choices in this…

Our heart leads the Way and lets us know what God wants to create and bring to form through us…

We merely instruments of the Divine, the Ultimate Doer…

That orchestrates the symphony of Life into Perfect Expression…

What does it mean to live life authentically? What does it look like to be coming from the Truth? What are the ingredients for a life worth living?

One approach would be to look at our decisions, specifically the ones we’ve made in the past. Ask yourself a simple question: Which decisions have enslaved, exhausted and starved my soul and which have freed, energized and fed my soul?

This is a completely different way of reflecting on your life and it should give you some very clear messages about how you got to where you are at this moment in your life. The key now is not to beat yourself up for making decisions that created hardship. Instead, take responsibility for making them, forgive yourself and release them. Beginning right now, wipe the slate clean, empty your cup, open your arms and decide to make all of your current and future decisions with a new state of consciousness about the well being of your soul.

This action alone will create one of the single most significant shifts in your life, because it will unlock the door to an authentic life. This simple way of looking at your decisions will make it impossible to hide from the Truth about who you are and what you desire.

Knowing what feeds your soul and making ALL decisions based on that criteria is the simplest most direct way to create a life worth living. Once you discover this, you will look for the quickest exit plan possible from all those decisions that are currently enslaving, exhausting and starving you.

Life is a precious gift with a limited number of life hours allotted to each of us. It is the greatest currency we have and it is up to us to spend it wisely, and not waste it feeling victimized.

We are our own worst enemies. We are constantly getting in our own way. Once we’re able to own this fully, we are then free to make new choices, choices that are in line with who we are…choices that nurture and feed and inspire us.

This can be applied to all aspects of our lives, our work, our relationships, our living situation, our creative expression, etc.

The beauty in this is that we can start fresh at any time right where we are. Each moment is a new beginning.

What new decisions can you make right now that will nurture your soul?