Flatline
Life is like a spiral and we cycle through many of the same themes again and again. Part of that cycle includes plateaus and dead zones, where our range seems void of highs and lows and seems to be one long flat line. These periods can feel dry and barren, devoid of moisture and sustenance, lacking in the high peaks of passion and joy as well as the low valleys of despair and pain. It is the exact opposite of the way we feel when we fall in love, when all of the senses catch on fire and light up the world. Rather, this feels calm and safe and predictable, and also a bit dull.
I’d like to think it’s a lull, before a massive wave rises and slams us against the surf — a calm before the storm when everything is almost too quiet. The eye of the hurricane. The hub of the wheel. Chaos all around, but there’s a feeling of being inside of a bubble, protected, but cut off. In a kind of soundproof room or sanctuary, away from the maddening crowd.
These quiet, dry periods devoid of drama, must serve a deep purpose. A time to regroup perhaps, to assess where we are, where we’ve been, and where we’re going. During these times, we may recognize a need to make changes. If the fire has gone out in our lives, perhaps we need to look for new oxygen to get it burning again.
A lack of excitement and energy can be restful for a time or it can be an indication that a situation or relationship is draining the energy out of our lives. Hanging out in our comfort zones is fine for awhile, but it can make us lazy and complacent. It can be so difficult to pull ourselves out of this place. Sometimes it takes a shock or a jolt to get things moving again.
It is so much easier when at rest to stay at rest and when moving to keep moving. Momentum is a precious thing, but all things change and shift and require us to adjust continually to the different currents flowing through and around us.
Personally, I struggle with resistance when I cycle around into one of these flat periods. I get antsy, impatient and frustrated, forgetting that it WILL eventually change. It ALWAYS does. Sometimes I just have to ride it out, be with it as it is.
I try and look for the benefits of the quiet. When I think back to periods of extreme highs and lows, I can romanticize them, editing out the painful parts and longing for the good stuff. It’s helpful to remember the bad parts as they’re kind of a reality check for right now. Otherwise, when the change comes and life gets really intense, I may long for this flat quiet time again, idealizing it and conveniently forgetting the downside.
The crux of it is not being satisfied with the present, whatever it may be. The mind likes to imagine there is always someplace better than here, usually in the past, but sometimes daydreaming about the future. In this way we miss where we are right now and the gifts it brings.
Wherever we are, it helps to remember that we cannot hold onto anything, so why not behold it the way a child would, with wonder. Because we never know when it or we will be gone.
