The world we live in functions by using rules and laws and structure to control and manipulate our experience. Following a schedule and using clocks and calendars keep us bound to a consensus way of thinking and behaving that at first glance, appears to be serving us in that it makes order out of chaos. However, upon deeper examination, one soon sees this order comes at great cost: our freedom and autonomy. All these rules and laws ultimately make it nearly impossible to know how we really feel or what we really want at any given moment. Thereby the very thing that makes life feel safe and predictable, also become the greatest obstacle in self-awareness, imprisoning us in a mostly reactive daily grind.

What this comes down to is an outer directed life versus an inner directed one. To make the shift from outer directed to inner directed living requires nothing less than a monumental shaking up of one’s entire believe system — literally taking it apart piece by piece and essentially discarding almost all of it, only holding onto the basics required for engaging with others.

What is required is spiritual disobedience: a revolution of the self.

If you have any desire for freedom from the shackles of daily living dictated by the mass shared consciousness,  you will have to say no to anything and everything that is not an authentic expression of you. Anything that you do because someone else says you should has to be put aside.  I’m talking about shutting off the Greek Chorus (parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, the media) in your life, ceasing not only to listen to them but also act on what they tell you.

This is the way out.

The only place where real freedom exists is when you realign with yourself and let your heart lead. Trust ourselves? No easy task. The habits of doubt and second guessing and patterns of insecurity run deep and fast within us. We have been scrutinized and judged and micro-managed by the external world for so long, for many of us, our inner voice is an unknown.

Luckily, for some of us, self-denial seems to have an expiration date. There is only so long we can survive on a shallow scant diet of people pleasing motivations. We crave real food that will sustain us, and we can only discover what that is when we begin to listen to our own inner directed wants and needs. The more we shift to this inner directed place, the better our lives will flow. Sure, there may be fall out when we stop accommodating others. Relationships and situations may shift dramatically. But in order to really breathe again and feel at home in our own lives, we must heed our own directives.

For many people this happens in mid-life, a catalytic time when our bodies are changing as well as our circumstances. For others, it may be a car accident, a sudden illness, or the death of a loved one that opens them up to a new way of seeing the world. Regardless, the inner call for attention becomes impossible to ignore.

Disobeying the world and the people in it and heeding our own directive may feel foreign at first, especially if we built a life around avoiding confrontation and smoothing the edges over for others.  We may make messes and stumble around awkwardly until we find our rhythm. Others may not understand our radical behavior changes, as it looks like we’ve suddenly become selfish or narcissistic. We have. We’re talking revolution here. The pendulum has swung to the opposite end of the spectrum and it will come back into balance in time.

In the meantime, enjoy the new found freedom and while you’re transitioning, feel free to put up a temporary smoke screen by telling others you’re involved in a big project that is taking up a lot of your time and you’ll get back to them soon. Because for right now, the answer’s no.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 7th, 2009 at 10:34 am and is filed under 3-D, Awareness, Being, Freedom, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.