Photo by Julian Fann

Training the ego is like training a dog—no one wants to be around a poorly behaved dog. It’s not the dog’s fault he barks too much, bites people, chases cars, soils the carpet, etc., he just needs to be trained. Our egos also need to be trained, to be put in their place, not to run rampant and out of control wreaking havoc wherever they go

An untrained mind is that is out of control is our responsibility. We live on a planet surrounded by millions of similar untrained, out of control minds; because of this, things are a mess and bordering on total destruction. Bad decisions, addictions, consumerism, waste, conflicts in relationships, boredom in work, etc., are all ego-based. Imagine a world in which we took the ego out of the equation!

In a battle with two egos, there is no way to win. It’s reduced to trying to prove who’s right and who’s wrong, and that end, once achieved, is a hollow victory. It creates a winner and a loser, but neither benefit from the outcome. Real connection and communion can only occur when both parties are open and present and egos are in check. Keeping the ego in check in a relationship isn’t easy—there are so many opportunities to be offended, misinterpreted, confused, and so forth, mainly because we are entering into this connection with pre-conceived ideas rather than coming to it fresh and open. We base our relationships on the past and the future bringing with us assumptions, expectations, stories, judgments, and concepts— in other words, lots of baggage that we automatically project onto that person. This essentially renders the relationships both mute and blind, because instead of really hearing and seeing other people, we are actually having a conversation with our concept of them—they might as well not even be there.

One way to change this is to begin to break habitual patterns in our lives. But, as most of us can attest, that’s easier said than done. The subterranean levels of the psyche—the deep and murky shadowland of the unconscious, the really ugly dirty stuff of the core wound survival stuff—is not an easy terrain in which to move or breathe. That’s why we need to tread carefully. We cannot actively attack the ego—that only makes it stronger. Instead, we have to take our attention away from it and essentially refuse to feed it; through neglect, its power will weaken and eventually fade away. Again not simple, and that’s where the need for training and undoing old bad habits comes in. Many seek a teacher for this, a shaman, a guru, a sage or monk. But let me warn you…this is a slippery slope filled with teachers whose biggest problems are their egos. And there are no short-cuts. Just like learning anything else and doing it well it takes daily, and in the case of the ego, sometimes, hourly or even moment by moment practice. As a wise person told me not so long ago, we have millions of thoughts per day, so don’t expect to get control of them overnight. However, just knowing they need to be controlled is half the battle. The other half is a lot of blood, sweat and tears…lots of trial and error…two steps forward and ten back…that kind of thing.

Are you up for it? Unless, you’ve been dragged along the pavement of life and are tired of being scraped up, probably not. This type of practice isn’t for the light-hearted or the lazy. It’s for those who want to finally once and for all turn down that incessant meaningless chatter, and find out what lies behind all this insanity and senseless suffering. It’s for those know there’s more and are willing to do whatever it takes to access it.

Yes, things have to get pretty bad, to the point where we decide that enough is enough, and we won’t tolerate the suffering the ego generates anymore

With that said, there are also innumerable ways that people have stumbled upon this egoless place…quite by accident. One woman whose story is circulating like mad around the internet got there when she suffered a stroke to the left hemisphere of her brain. Others simply have a sudden awakening with no rhyme or reason.

Perhaps you’re one of those. For the rest of us, we can begin freeing ourselves from the tyranny of an untrained mind today. Some wise teachers suggest starting with the question, “Who Am I?” and see what opens up from there.

Think about it…if you’re not your personal history, your stories, your concepts and beliefs, your daily roles in life, then WHO ARE YOU?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 at 12:26 pm and is filed under 3-D, Amnesia, Awareness, Freedom, Illusion, Truth. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.